37 weeks-Term baby!

We've officially made it to term!! I have so many conflicted feelings about everything! I am SO dang excited to have made it to 37 weeks and to basically be feeling OK, pregnant but still living. I'm not feeling 'done' and 'ready to just get them out' though. I really do think we can make it another week -10 days. It is so weird for me to think that in less than 2 weeks these babies will be born! I can hardly imagine how it feels for STE & S!

Going into labor? A part of me is terrified at what it will really be like. My OB assures me I can get an epidural as soon as I want, but what if the on call doc doesn't agree with that philosophy? The other part of me is really excited about letting things happen on their own. My water has never broke on it's own and honestly I think that would be kinda cool to experience (I'm sure it's overrated, but I'd still love the experience).

What do we do if we honestly make it to March with no actual signs of labor? What are the choices then? How long will STE really wait for her babies before the anticipation gets to us all? I've definitely come to terms with preferring a vaginal delivery, but what are our options at 39 weeks with twins?

Poor Dr. E has no idea what he's in for today. I have so many what if questions, not to mention the verbal lashing about sending me to L & D with no specific reason.

I have a confession to make as well. I have a daily calendar with each day's plans and every night I cross off another day. Nothing feels me with more joy than when I get to X through another day! Obsessive?

In other news, we found a surrogate with some frozen breast milk and she sent up about 400 oz to STE this week (2 day with no dry ice and it was still frozen solid). When you add that to the stash from another surro (Trisha), the babies have a good supply to get them going until STE's production gets going and mine as well. Having 'starter' milk takes off so much pressure initially and I'm so thankful that we were able to get so much. I'm also quite thankful that STE is so excited about nursing the babes. I've had some hospital pictures of P & L flash up on my screen lately and it still fills me with awe that a woman who couldn't carry her babies was able to so successfully nurse them. One of my favorite pictures is STE nursing both of them at the same time and just beaming!! Induced lactation is amazing!!

Please keep in mind, that even though I know I should I still don't proofread before clicking publish. I have so many thoughts rumbling around in my head, sometimes they don't come out quite right. If you read something that hits you wrong, I probably should've edited it differently.