7 days PP

I can hardly believe it's really been a week since the birth. I am feeling pretty darn good. I took my last Vicodin Saturday afternoon and have been just fine with the ibuprofen. All systems seem to be in working order, moving correctly and leveling off. The swelling has finally started to really go down as well as the numbers on the scale-28 lbs so far (although the number we have to lose is so big I won't even mention it). In general I'm a pretty slow loser, so once we get rid of the swelling I don't expect to see the numbers drop so fast.

Pumping is really starting to feel successful. I've kept a chart this time to help remind me of when to take meds and when to pump. I'm only getting about 2 oz at a time from each side, but that's so much better than 1/2 oz. I should see about a 8 oz increase today (almost 40 oz).

I took a test drive tonight with Brian to make sure that I physically felt ok to drive tomorrow. Apparently I didn't turn at the angle Brian would've liked at the stop sign, but other than that I had no physical discomfort. I will still take this next week easy-I won't clean the house myself and I'll have the kids take the clothes out of the dryer, but it will feel good to take the kids to and from school. This is a task that I love just as much as laundry. It just doesn't feel right to ME for someone else to take the kids to school. I could never be part of a car pool. Weird, I know.

I'm very surprised to have not had a big emotional crying breakdown yet. I will admit to beating myself up a bit emotionally though. I thought that I had planned everything so well that my I wouldn't be letting my kids down in any way by being pregnant/delivering. The situation with Ciera wanting eye liner this week really threw me. First of all I wasn't ready for her to wear makeup to school. Secondly, I couldn't take her and have a big 'make up trip'. I couldn't even do a small Target trip. Now I do recognize that I'm the one that made a big deal about it, she didn't and really in a few weeks I'm sure it won't seem like a big deal.

But on the flip side, I felt just as cheated because the kids didn't need me and were able to get through the week just fine. They still got their school work done, they still ate and they still had things to do. Nobody wanted to come hang out in bed with me. Nobody asked to play a game or watch a movie. They were busy all on their own, which is what I 'technically' wanted but it still stung a bit. Again, I know these are silly feelings and they will pass soon as well. It's hard to see your kids grow up, but yet that is what every day of parenting is leading up to.

Just to prove how silly I've emotionally reacted, I'm pretty sure my dog has been snubbing me since I returned home from the hospital. He took a nap with me virtually every day while pregnant and since I've been home I can't even get him to come close enough to pet. Today was the first day that I was able to get any attention from him. It's as though the darn dog was angry with me for deserting him for 3 days. Brian says they gave the dog plenty of attention and that he hasn't seen evidence of the dog snubbing me, but irrational, hormonal me is pretty certain it happened.

With all of my preparations for recovery time, I somehow forgot that I would need to eat and that my husband would need to be able to prepare it for me. Fortunately I'm not half as hungry as I used to be, although I do still need to eat. I'll admit to being pretty picky and absolutely not interested in fast food at all. I've had quite a few sandwiches though and enjoyed them very much. I'd stopped eating deli meat for most of the pregnancy and it was almost a treat to eat a sandwich each day. I had really wanted a chicken salad sandwich one day and Brian was going to the store, so he was going to pick it up. He somehow forgot about my craving and returned home without the chicken salad. We tried a tuna sandwich with bar-b-cue chips to mask the non-chicken flavor, but it just wasn't the same. One meal mix up for the week wasn't too bad though.

Looking ahead, there's not much happening this week. Logan has his last basketball game on Saturday and Ciera has her first softball game next Tuesday. I should be feeling really good by then and the pumping schedule should be established enough that I don't leak all over.

Happy March!