It's twins for the twins!

Smiley B!

2010-02-24T20:19:00.001-08:00

IMG_5026, originally uploaded by evans_nyc.

Now this picture is the B I've heard about. He's such a smiley, happy little guy. I just love the twinkle that is always in his eye. I can not wait to hear him laugh!

Sweet V-R

2010-02-24T20:18:00.001-08:00

IMG_5023, originally uploaded by evans_nyc.

And I'm not just talking about her hands! I love this picture of her. Her little features, the way her eyes look. There is just something about this picture that just melts my heart!

Who'd have guessed?

2010-02-24T20:16:00.001-08:00

IMG_5017, originally uploaded by evans_nyc.

Somebody loved the cake! Somebody was NOT as excited about cake.

B is 1!!

2010-02-24T20:14:00.001-08:00

CIMG2518, originally uploaded by evans_nyc.

I could be wrong, but I think this expression is pretty uncharacteristic for B! He looks less than thrilled to have been given his own cake!

V-R is 1!!

2010-02-24T20:13:00.001-08:00

CIMG2517, originally uploaded by evans_nyc.

I love the look on her face as she's checking out her 1st Birthday cake!!

Happy Birthday B & V-R!!!

2010-02-24T20:11:00.001-08:00

CIMG2481, originally uploaded by evans_nyc.

Look how big and adorable these kiddos are!
They just finished up dinner and are getting ready for cake!!

Where has the time gone?

2010-02-21T20:56:00.000-08:00

(sorry, I have no idea where the pic went)

I can scarcely believe how fast this year has gone. It's unbelievable to me that 1 year ago I was in the hospital being monitored and hoping to return home for a few more days. Things did not work out as we had hoped and planned, but we were able to hold off delivery for 12 more hours so mom and dad could be there for the delivery.

The family adapted so well to 2 more wee ones to love. I'm sure this year has been challenging, but full of so many wonderful moments. It's amazing that each child has such a distinct and different personality! Miss V-R has always known what she wants and is so curious about everything. Mr. B is such a laid back, happy little guy. He's even starting to stand on his own, and I'm sure he has the biggest grin while he does it.

I get to go visit at the end of March and I can hardly wait to see them all and soak up their little personalities.

I'm sure that tomorrow will be much like every other Monday, but it's a very special day and they will not be far from my thoughts.

Happy 1st Birthday Miss V-R and Mr. B!!

Baby girl's got her first tooth!

2010-01-19T21:41:00.000-08:00

V-R has her first tooth! Isn't it adorable?

And I hear that her brother has his first 2 teeth coming in at the same time!

1st Thanksgiving Dinner-9 months 4 days

2009-12-03T05:38:00.000-08:00

Time to pack up the pump?

2009-12-02T20:32:00.000-08:00

The babes are 9 months and 10 days and I think I'm just about done pumping. I only got 11.5 oz today. I've been waiting for the output to not be worth the effort and I think we're just about there. Technically, I was supposed to stop at the end of November, but it's really been hard to stop this time. Partly because the amounts have been so high and perhaps partly because I don't really know if I'll ever have this opportunity again. I just hadn't really been ready to give it up, but I think the time is coming soon. Perhaps by the end of the week even.

Such sweet siblings

2009-11-15T19:58:00.000-08:00

I love these pictures so much! It really captures just how big they all are. B & V-R are almost 9 months old and are crawling all over now. They just look so darn sweet-and who can resist a sister's nose.
There were several shots of all four kids, but I love this one in particular. L is such a great big sister-you can see how much she loves V-R and how good she is with her. And if you look closely P is being very sweet with his brother's hand.
I can only imagine how wonderful Christmas will be at their house this year!

Pre-Halloween Fun

2009-11-05T19:00:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I never realized I could drag pictures onto the blog. Here are the cuties!

Happy Halloween

2009-11-05T18:57:00.000-08:00

Aren't they all adorable!!

Happy 8 months B & V-R!!

2009-10-22T08:44:00.000-07:00

Today the babes are 8 months old! They are getting so big and really becoming little individuals. They have their preferences and are so different, but then there are little things that will remind you of their siblings.
They are getting more mobile and more interested in 'big people' stuff.

It's amazing to think that they are getting so big!!

Happy 8 months little guys!!

The Twins'

2009-09-30T14:30:00.000-07:00

I've stumbled upon an easy way to steal/share pictures of the kiddos. I love this picture because it's a snippet of I believe lunch time at their home. There's no food on the laptop, which leads me to believe they have not eaten yet.

P & L are 3 years 1 month now and have just returned to preschool. This is a project that they made. These two are a tad obsessed/thrilled with space shuttles right now and the school used their enthusiasm as a project for the day (how great is that?)

Behind them you can see V-R & B ready for lunch (they look clean so I don't think they've eaten yet). V-R & B are 7 months old now and looking so big in their little Bumbo seats.

I've spent all day viewing this picture, I can't find a focal point with all 4 faces in there.

Many Celebrations!

2009-08-17T20:17:00.000-07:00

Today S & S celebrate their 13 Wedding Anniversary! They make it look SO easy!

On Saturday the 22nd, V-R & B celebrate 6 months! They are growing fast and are gearing up for some big changes. They've been rolling for a while now and it looks as though food is of great interest to them.

On Tuesday the 25th, P & L turn 3 YEARS OLD!! Where has the time gone? They've handled the transition to older siblings so well. They sleep in their own beds, go potty all by themselves (have been for years), they are talking all the time and are so creative and fun to watch. They are an absolute delight to watch grow and learn.

As for me, I am still pumping 3 times a day and producing 55-60 oz a day. When will I stop? When I stop getting so much milk. I'm finding it much harder to stop this time around since I'm producing so much with so few sessions (although a session can last for nearly an hour). I will probably drop down to twice a day soon and see what happens to the supply.

1 year ago

2009-06-29T16:25:00.001-07:00

It's hard to believe, but 1 year ago we were all waiting to see if 2 perfect little embryos would snuggle in for the long haul. 1 year ago today I got my first faint BFP and couldn't wait to see the line get darker and darker.

P & L seemed so little and yet just 1 year later they seem incredibly grown up!
1 year later and V & B are sitting around in bumbo seats and giggling like crazy!

It's amazing the difference a year can make!

16 weeks PP

2009-06-15T05:20:00.000-07:00

I am officially shedding! The hair loss has begun and I'm finding hairs everywhere. Handfuls of hair! I'm back to clogging the tub with all of the hair. I knew this was coming, but I was really enjoying the break. I lost tons of hair for almost 2 years after P & L, so we'll see how long it lasts this time.

I have reports that BOTH babies are now rolling over and they are both holding their heads up so well while on their tummies. They appear to be getting very big and they look as precious as ever!

14 weeks-So many changes!

2009-06-03T12:40:00.000-07:00

The babes are now 14 weeks old! They are getting SO big and B, the smaller of the two at birth, is no well on his way to weighing more than P&L! It's so wonderful to see them growing bigger and stronger. They are so smiley and just appear to be very happy babies. I still have not learned how to move the pictures, so eventually you can see how dang cute they are (this weekend is a bit slow, maybe we'll get the lesson in).

STE went back to work this week. It's only Wednesday, but so far, so good. The nanny appears to be working out, STE is able to get through each day and everyone is happy. She has such a great set-up that it's hard to feel bad about her going back to work. She gets to work from home, the kids are at the house, she can hear everything, plus she gets to do something she loves. Not to mention the perk of even HAVING a job in this economy.

I had been putting off actively taking off the pregnancy weight because of the pumping. I wanted to make sure my scar was healed (check) and that my milk supply was well established (check). I had been reading that it's not fully established until 12 weeks and then you can drop pumps without effecting the supply. I know from previous experience that once I started exercising again, my supply took a hit. I'd been doing so well, I really didn't want to cause a drop. Plus I just don't really enjoy exercising all that much (nor did I want to stop eating Swiss Rolls).

I'd been walking for a few weeks and the supply stayed in the 70's. On Monday I went back to Curves. I've made it every day this week as well, plus I still walked in the evening. I was amazed at how good it felt to use my back and shoulder muscles in that way. So I'm energized and ready to take this on. I got measured and weighed today. My last measurements were from a year ago, pre-pregnancy. I didn't look at today's numbers, but I'm quite confident that I will see results as long as I apply myself. I'm also keeping close tabs on the milk production and will add in some supplements if I see it diving. I will keep track of the progress on my 'home' blog if you'd like to follow along. My hope is to be much closer to pre-pregnancy by the time the kids go back to school, August 17.

Got Milk?

2009-05-24T18:15:00.000-07:00

I typically don't post the same thing on both blogs, but I have difficulty deciding which things belong where. This seems to belong in both. I get a little 'crazy' excited when I see all the milk I've been able to freeze. It keeps me very optimistic that there will be enough to get the babies through their first year.

I forgot to take the before picture. This is my empty freezer that had 22 days worth of milk in it this morning. Each shelf holds about 40lbs of milk. I believe there are about 112, 16 oz bottles. I'm filling 4.5-5 bottles per day.

The bottom two pictures are the chest freezer my mom brought over this afternoon so I can store the milk easier. I'm a little surprised that it's almost full already. I can probably fit 4-5 more days worth of milk in it. I should have enough room to store the milk until mid to late June. Hopefully by then STE has more room in her freezers.

Sister Loves

2009-05-22T16:14:00.000-07:00

Big Sister L giving loves to V & B

Spilt milk!

2009-05-22T05:46:00.000-07:00

I didn't cry over it, but I felt it was worth mentioning. I had my first episode of spilt milk this go around. I sadly spilled milk quite a few times while pumping for P&L, so I'm pretty proud of myself that it took over 12 weeks to have a good spill while pumping for V&B. Don't get me wrong, I've had little 'baby' spills, but I actually lost a good 3 oz on Wednesday night.

I didn't even cry, I just quickly threw my shirt on the pile of milk as if it were a fire and then went to get a wet cloth to wipe up the sticky milk. The worst part was worrying if I was going to stain my shirt and if my milk covered mouse pad would ever work again.

The shirt went straight into the washer and I immediately rinsed off the mouse pad. I haven't gotten a chance yet to see if either one survived the spill.

Final boarding call...

2009-05-06T09:38:00.000-07:00

I returned home on a 7:30 flight, so that meant dealing with Friday night traffic to get to the airport. SDE (D, not T) made great time getting me to the airport. I arrived at 6, so I had plenty of time. I was instructed to be at the gate by 7:10. It seemed like plenty of time to pump and do a bit of airport shopping. So I did what any sensible woman would do, shopped first.

I finally found a comfortable bench, with an outlet, and some privacy, so I set up shop to pump. In my head I decided that although I was told to be at the gate at 7:10, really I could just show up at 7:20 since it was a 7:30 flight (do you see where this is going?). I stop pumping and start packing up my things around 7:15. I'm at the sink cleaning up when I hear "final boarding call for x@*^". I can't hear the final bit, so I hustle out of the bathroom and head toward my gate since it's 7:20. That's when I hear, "Would passengers, X & Y," please get your butts to the plane!Crud! I just got paged in an airport! I've always wondered how that happens or how they know who to page. Now I understand a bit. I was the last passenger to board a very full flight headed to Sacramento and San Diego. Yep, I was the late passenger that had to look through every overhead compartment for somewhere to shove her bag and then ask a perfectly comfortable stranger to please become uncomfortable as we wedge 3 bodies into a row that is only comfortable with 2 bodies. How do you decide which stranger to make uncomfortable? I went with the dad and his 8 year old. I figured 2 adults and 1 child would fit better than 3 adults. Well dad didn't seem to want to get squishy with his kiddo, so we shared leg body heat for the whole 1 1/2 hours while silently hoping that the other wasn't spreading the Swine Flu.

But we eventually made it home and only a few minutes late. I'm sure that wasn't my fault!

Oops

2009-05-06T09:32:00.000-07:00

I've already thought of things that I didn't mention.

P&L are so dang cute with V&B. It was so sweet to see them give kisses or belly pats. I think my heart about melted when I heard them say their names! L loves to help out with the babies. She'll put pacifiers in or take them out, she'll bring a bottle even if they're not hungry. She'll pat their little bellies whether they're asleep or awake. There are just so many more things to notice when you have more than just a couple of hours to visit. I love that I am so welcome to come and really 'observe' every aspect of their family.

I will say this, bath time for everyone seems MUCH shorter now that the family is bigger! I was amazed at how much of their routine they've been able to keep. I probably would've thrown nightly baths for everyone out the window, but the routine works so well for her family.

A great trip, but...

2009-05-06T08:38:00.000-07:00

not so many pictures. It's really hard to take pictures while holding babies. I do have some that I will eventually get uploaded. I'm thinking it may be what I ask for on Mother's Day.

I arrived Wednesday morning. STE picked me up with all 4 kiddos. Usually it takes L some time to warm up to me, but this trip she immediately greeted me and interacted in the car. It was a ton of fun to hear P&L singing and talking the whole ride. They had been talking in December when I last visited, but nothing compared to all the chatter now. They are unbelievably imaginative and were a blast to watch play and interact together. They have grown up so much!

We headed to STE's mother's house to drop off 100lbs of frozen milk and have some lunch. They have a beautiful yard and P&L played and played. I pumped near the window so I could watch them play and I could see B in his car seat napping.

It was amazing to see the babies again. They have really gotten so big, but 9 week olds are still quite little. I had forgotten that. I didn't have too much trouble getting back into baby care mode though. I didn't have any diaper changing accidents, nor did I drop a baby!

I was only there for 3 days, but the days have started to blur together a bit. I did a lot of baby snuggling, feeding and holding of sleeping babies (hopefully they were able to go back to sleeping on their own after I left). I found it very hard to carve time out to pump, there was always something to do or someone to hold. I'm not sure how STE gets so much done, but she does. The house was still running smoothly and the kids were still being fed, plus she still has time for her twins group projects.

I started out doing so well and I'm afraid I've now gone all rambly on you! Perhaps this is why I waited to blog, all the thoughts are jumbled in my head and I just don't know where to start. I got to see P&L's preschool-very cute little place. We had dinner at the Lunchbox Laboratory the first night (my favorite pregnancy burger place). It was still very good, but I didn't need to live there this time.

On Friday P poked his head into my room at 6am. I had just finished up pumping, so he came on in and played on the bed with me. A few minutes later L peeked in and was a bit hesitant, but she finally came and joined us. It was wonderful to spend that time with them and to really get a chance to see them blossom into little people. It really helps to visualize the stories STE shares with me. They really are very funny kids, and oh so bright. On my second day, during lunch prayers, P included 'that lady over there' and pointed at me. Imagine my joy at being included in his prayers in only 2 days!

I definitely got my baby fix. Caring for two babies is absolutely hard work. My legs and arms were both a bit sore from so much holding, rocking, bouncing and juggling. Thank goodness they were both lite enough to pick up easily while holding the other one. Although I didn't take many pictures, I spent a lot of time in front of the mirror while holding both babies just staring at their perfect little faces.

Can you believe that neither baby is a spitter? In 3 days not one baby spit up on me! How lucky can one mom get! They really are just wonderful babies. V loves to be held, but as a visitor I was OK with that. Both babies are smiling and gave up lots of smiles and 'chats'. It really was an amazing visit.

I thought STE was brave to even want 4 kids. I thought it was amazing that she can even keep the house running with 4 kids. But she really blew my mind when she showed me that she actually takes them out of the house for outings! I'm pretty sure I would stay indoors until the babies were no longer babies, but that's why I have 2 kids I guess. Friday morning STE planned to head out to the zoo at 9:30. Dad stayed home in the morning to help out and allow mom to sleep a bit (which was very sweet). We really did end up in the car around 9:30 and on our way to the zoo. There was a new exhibit opening and she thought P&L would really enjoy it, which they did. I'm pretty sure there was no way I would've even dreamt of taking all 4 kids to the zoo, but STE made it look so easy! We had a great time, the kids were fantastic and the zoo had some great exhibits.

With all my gushing over the babies and P&L, I almost forgot to mention what a great dad they all have. It is so much fun to watch him with his kids. He's a funny guy, but he's a great dad! I love seeing them both evolve as parents. They absolutely were meant to have children and I'm so thankful to have been able to help and to have the pleasure of watching them grow as a family!

I could go on and on, but eventually I start repeating myself. I had a great time. The weather was BEAUTIFUL! The food was good and the family was AMAZING!!

Pictures to come eventually, after my lesson on how to upload them myself.

9 weeks old!

2009-04-27T11:42:00.000-07:00

Where has the time gone and how have these babies gotten so big?

As of today, 9weeks 1 day, V is weighing 9 lbs .5 oz (6lbs 5 oz at birth) and B is weighing 9 lbs 10 oz (6 lbs at birth)!

They are growing so big, so fast! I am so excited to be flying up for a visit this week. I can hardly wait to see them and their big brother and sister. I remember when I flew up at 3 months for a visit with P&L. They had changed so much, but looked exactly like all the pictures STE had sent me. I'm really looking forward to hearing all the little things about their likes and dislikes. Plus I'll have a ton of pictures to share!

Way to grow V & B!!!

The day before Easter...

2009-04-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

The twins had an excellent day before Easter. Making these yummy cupcakes, and TWO easter egg hunts - one at Grandma's, and another with the twins organization in our area. Cyn is right, this year the kids really understood the easter egg hunt. In fact, by the end, they would open each egg as they picked it up. L had quite the method, stepping on each egg to get it open. She weighs just the right amount to not break the egg, only open it. The younger twins gave an excellent Easter gift to thier mother by sleeping 4.5 hours in a row. Won't be returning that one! Report on Easter day (and the adorable outfits), when we get the photos uploaded.

Happy Easter Weekend!!

2009-04-11T13:10:00.000-07:00

It's a beautiful day and looks to be a great weekend here in CA, with a high of 75 degrees.

I hear the twins' have a full weekend of fun with family. STE said she found adorable dresses for the girls that match. It's actually a dress for L and a matching one for her doll, but it fits V-how precious is that! I can't wait to see the pictures. The boys have dashing outfits as well, since Easter is all about the adorable outfits (I know that's not true).

They have several egg hunts for P&L and I imagine they will have a ton of fun. At 2 1/2 they will really get the whole 'egg hunt' idea. I remember my kids' being that age and it being some of our most fun egg hunts, before they have any idea that someone has more than them.

I'm struggling a bit with what information to put here and which to take to the other blog, but I decided this milk story belongs here.
I was up at 3:30 pumping like normal and was getting a ton really fast (which is great). I knew the bottles were getting full but I hadn't felt any dripping on my leg so I figured I still had some more room. When I went to change out the 9 oz bottle I noticed that there was a pool of milk on the floor. It didn't drip on my leg, but it had dripped down onto my chair and then pooled on the floor! At 4am all I good to was chuckle. Thankfully it wasn't more than 1/2 an oz, but I was feeling so good about not losing any that it served me right. I ended up getting an all time high at that session-24 oz of milk at once!

We are hosting Easter at our house this year, so all of the neglected weeds had to be pulled this morning (9 months is a long time for weeds to grow everywhere). I was able to consistently pull the weeds for a good hour before my body screamed for me to stop-I guess I'm officially healed!

Have a wonderful Easter weekend, however you choose to spend it.

homelovefamilyfriends.blogspot.com

2009-04-05T11:08:00.000-07:00

I'm working on a new home for my monotonous day to day happenings that have nothing to do with twins for the twins. I probably should've put more thought into the blog title originally. I hope you'll check things out from time to time and I still look forward to your comments. Perhaps I will even get better at daily updates.

The babies are 6 weeks old today! It feels like just yesterday that I was still pregnant. Six weeks is old enough for babies to start at a daycare center. Six weeks is the standard length of maternity leave. Six weeks is when the OB generally wants to see you back to make sure all is well. It seems only fitting that six weeks is when I turn over a new leaf and take my family ramblings to a new home.

Happy six week birthday V & B!

Best thing ever-for pregnancy and every day

2009-04-03T07:27:00.000-07:00

I was walking through the alarm clock section of Target yesterday and I remembered something I'd been wanting to share for quite a while, my alarm clock that projects the time onto the ceiling.

This was a gift from STE & family. It was truly the most helpful thing during the pregnancy. I didn't have to 'heft' my body to the side of the bed to see what time it was, I could just look up (or I could've bought new side tables that were higher than my bed, but the clock worked great). It is such a simple thing, but not having to move in the bed to find out what time it is really is the sweetest thing.

We had the clock for several months before the pregnancy and we all loved it. We gained a whole new appreciation for it while pregnant though. I did not have to wake Brian at all to ask what time it was and I'm sure I was able to get more rest as well.

I've said it before, but thank you so much for the clock. And for those of you that don't have a projection clock in your bedroom, you need to go get one!

How do I keep getting so behind?

2009-04-01T12:35:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how I keep getting so far behind, I'll try to do better. Until then here's the update.

Friday we had parent teacher conferences for the kids. They are both doing quite well. Logan has improved so much with his writing, both his penmanship and his writing abilities. Ciera continues to excel with above grade level work and is now spending a lot of time socializing with other students. She's not causing too big of a problem with it and honestly we are pleased to see her broadening her social circle and that she's socializing like a typical 12 year old (she's always been quite content to be on her own).

Friday evening we headed to my SIL's for Brian's mother's birthday. We had a wonderful evening, roast beef, mashed potatoes, corn and lots of cake! Logan spent the night with his cousins and the rest of us headed home to get a good rest for the weekend's softball tournament.

Saturday we headed to Stockton, about 1 1/2 hours away, for Ciera's softball. The girls played great and ended up first seed in their pool-we didn't have to return Sunday until 12:30! They won 2 of 3 games on Saturday. Sunday they played quite well and won 1 of 2 games before being knocked out of the tournament. They were winning their 2nd game 5-2 until the bottom of the final inning when they gave it away. That team went on to win the Championship. Logan decided to go with us on Sunday and it was nice to have him with us. He spent most of the games playing football with other boys and playing his new DS game (thanks Grandma & Papa).

This was our first 'away' tournament with the new pump. I wasn't sure what it would do to my supply. I was pleased to find that it had no impact at all and I still did quite well. I also took my first PP bath Sunday night. It was so nice to soak in the tub again. It's also nice to be feeling back to normal.

Monday I didn't do much other than catch up on some needed sleep after the weekend. After school we headed to do some shopping. Logan and I found a pair of basketball shoes, since basketball starts this week. We also found an 'Easter outfit'. He picked it out himself and he loves it! It's so nice to see him in something other than 'athletic pants/shorts'. I'll have to post a picture when he wears it Friday. While we were at the store he picked up a swimsuit so that he doesn't have to go shopping again. Then Brian and I traded kids and Ciera and I did a bit of mall shopping. She found a new pair of shoes (that she'd been deliberating on since January) and a new pair of black and white checked pants that she loves. I got a picture of it yesterday that I will upload soon. They make me a little dizzy, but she loves them and was 100% willing to spend her own money on them.

Tuesday, Brian had the day off for Cesar Chavez day. I had so many plans for the day, but sadly we slept most of it away. He got to sleep in and I went back to bed after getting the kids to school. He went to get a hair cut while I got my pumping done. Then we headed to Carl's Jr. to try the new Kentucky Bourbon Six Dollar Burger (with a coupon from Grandma). It was delicious! You should definitely give it a try! After lunch we headed to Costco for a few essentials. We had just enough time to unpack the car before picking up the kids from school and heading to Ciera's softball game. She got to pitch 2 innings and did a great job-she hasn't pitched much since her finger injury. The girls won and played fairly well, although there were still more errors than the coaches would like to see.

Today I've gotten the laundry done and the Scholastic book order forms ready to go out on Friday. It doesn't sound like much but both tasks take a lot of time. Logan has his first basketball practice tonight. We're looking forward to meeting the new team. Brian has agreed to coach and there's only 8 on the team. One boy won't ever be able to make our practice time so he's looking to trade teams and another boy just had an appendectomy, so there will only be 6 boys there tonight. Their first game is Friday night, so not a lot of time to do much of anything. Hopefully they'll have a good time though.

Thursday we have NO sporting commitments at all, aside from Ciera going out to pitch for a bit. I will be making my copies at school and I think there's even some typing to be done again. Thursday afternoon Logan will get his orthodontic appliances. We're both a little anxious to see what he'll have to do.

Friday Logan and I have a field trip. I've done this field trip with Ciera before and it was a pretty good one, so I'm hoping Logan will enjoy it even more. Friday is the last day before Spring Break and I think we all are looking forward to a week of sleeping in (or in my case going back to bed after pumping). We have very loose plans for the week and we'll just see where the week takes us (Ciera is hoping it takes her to the mall).

Pumping breakdown by special request!

2009-03-27T21:08:00.000-07:00

This will be a very tedious post for those not interested in my pumping.

I've copied over my spreadsheet at the request of a fellow blogger. I've changed up my recording through the weeks and now log how much at each session as well as a running total and a daily total. I stopped recording how long I pump for at each session, but generally it's until there's no more milk coming out-at least 15-20 minutes and I had many times that the pump shut off automatically (so over 30 minutes). I began taking 6 Fenugreek and 4 blessed thistle capsules on the 2nd or the 9th (whichever day Ciera and I went shopping and to the herb store-I blogged about it, so check the old posts-I think it was the 8th). I stopped taking them last week and I didn't see much of a difference when I stopped, although they say that you don't have to continue taking it once you see an increase. I started out logging my water consumption (that's the x's), but I found I was generally drinking 5 servings of 16-20 oz, so I stopped logging it. I do still get up once between 1&4. I set the alarm for 3:15 in case I don't wake on my own, but usually my breasts will wake me up. I switched over to the Pump In Style Advanced on the 26th starting with my 3rd session. The biggest difference I've found so far is the gentleness of the pump. The PISA may actually empty me faster, but I'm not certain enough yet to go on record with this. I like the let down on the Symphony better, but the expression on the PISA seems to be faster (although the switch over is a doozy on the nips!) and I seem to get more let downs.

Any questions about it just give out a holler (or a comment).
My final pumping of the day today at 9:30 was 9 oz, giving me a daily total of 77oz for my 1st full day on the PISA. I also try to 'power pump' a few times a week. After pumping my regular session, I wait 20 minutes, pump for 10 more minutes, wait 10 minutes and then pump another 10 minutes. This is supposed to mimic a 'cluster feed' for the baby and help increase your supply over the next few days. I also eat 1 cup of oatmeal 3-4 times per week.

Date	Time	Amount
25-Feb	8:05-8:21		0
	10:35-11		0
	1:05-1:30		0
	4:30		0
	7:25		0
	10:30-11		0
	3am		0
			2 oz.


Date	Time	Amount
26-Feb	6:45	1	1
	9:45	0.75	1.75
	12:50		1.75
	2:20		1.75
	4:30		1.75
	7:00		1.75
	10:00		1.75
			7 oz


Date	Time	Amount
27-Feb	2:20am		0
	3:40		0
	6:40		0
	10:00		0
	12:50		0
	3:30		0
	6pm		0
	8:40		0
	11:15
			21 oz


Date	Time	Amount
1-Mar	1:30am		0
	5:15		0
	8		0
	9:30		0
	11:30		0
	2:00		0
	5:00		0
	7:30		0
	10:15pm		0
			40 oz


Date	Time	Amount
2-Mar	1:30am	4	4
	5:30	7	11
	7:30	4	15
	9:30	4	19
	12:00	6	25
	2:30&4:00	8	33
	6:00	4.5	37.5
	8:30	5	42.5
	11pm	5.5	48
			48 oz.


Date	Time	Amount
3-Mar	2:15am	7	7
	5:30	8.5	15.5
	8:30	6	21.5
	12:00	6	27.5
	1:30/2:30	6.5	34
	6:00	7.5	41.5
	9:00	7.5	49
	11:00	4.5	53.5
			53.5 oz


Date	Time	Amount
4-Mar	2:45am	8	8
	6:30	8	16
	9:00	5.5	21.5
	11:30	6	27.5
	2:30	6.5	34
	4:45	6.5	40.5
	8:30	7.5	48
	10:00	4	52
			52 oz


Date	Time	Amount
5-Mar	2:40am	11.5	11.5
	6:30	8	19.5
	9:00	6	25.5
	12:15	8.5	34
	2:15	5	39
	4:30	6	45
	7:30	6	51
	9:00	4.5	55.5
			55.5 oz


Date	Time	Amount
6-Mar	12:40am	9.5	9.5
	4:00	8.5	18
	7:30	8	26
	10:30	8.5	34.5
	1:00	6	40.5
	4:00	7.5	48
	6:20	7	55
	9:00	7.5	62.5
			62.5 oz


Date	Time	Amount
7-Mar	1:30am	10.5	10.5
	6:00	10.5	21
	8:00	4.5	25.5
	10:00	6	31.5
	1:00	8	39.5
	3:30	7	46.5
	7:30	11	57.5
	9:30	6	63.5
	11:00	5	68.5
			68.5 oz


Date	Time	Amount
8-Mar	2:40	9	9
time	7:30	9.5	18.5
change	10:45	9.5	28
	2:00	8.5	36.5
	5:30	11	47.5
	8:15	8	55.5
			55.5 oz


Date	Time	Amount
9-Mar	2:00	14.5	14.5
	6:15	12	26.5
	9:00	7	33.5
	12:00	8	41.5
	2:30	7.5	49
	4:50	7.5	56.5
	7:30	8	64.5
	10:00	5.5	70
			70 oz



Date	Time	Amount
10-Mar	2:40am	12	12
	6:30	11.5	23.5
	9:30	9.5	33
	12:00	6.5	39.5
	2:30	7	46.5
	4:20	6	52.5
	7:00	6	58.5
	9:30	10	68.5
			68.5 oz


Date	Time	Amount
11-Mar	2:30	12.5	12.5
	6:30	11.5	24
	9:00	6	30
	11:20	8	38
	2:00	8.5	46.5
	5:15	8.5	55
	7:00	6	61
	9:20	7.5	68.5
			68.5 oz


Date	Time	Amount
12-Mar	3:15	16	16
	6:30	11	27
	8:30	5.5	32.5
	12:00	10	42.5
	2:20	6.5	49
	5:00	10	59
	8:00	11	70
	9:30	4	74
			74 oz.


Date	Time	Amount
13-Mar	1:15	11	11
	3:45	7	18
	6:20	9	27
	10:30	11.5	38.5
	1:30	9.5	48
	4:00	8.5	56.5
	7:00	9	65.5
	9:30	8.5	74
	10:25	2	76
			76 oz


Date	Time	Amount
14-Mar	2:30	13	13
	7:00	13	26
	9:30&11:30	16	42
	3&6	18	60
	8&9	8	68
			68 oz



Date	Time	Amount
15-Mar	3:20	21	21
	7:30	10	31
	10:00	7	38
	2:00 & 5:00	23	61
		13.5	74.5
			74.5 oz


Date	Time	Amount
16-Mar	2:30	14	14
	6:00	12.5	26.5
	8:45	8	34.5
	11:45	9	43.5
	2:00	6.5	50
	4:00	6	56
		13.5	69.5
	9:30	6.5	76
			76 oz


Date	Time	Amount
17-Mar	3:30	16.5	16.5
	7:00	9	25.5
	9:00	5	30.5
	12:00	10.5	41
	2:15	7	48
	5:00	5	53
	7:20	8	61
	9:00	8	69
clog?			69 oz

Date	Time	Amount
18-Mar	1:00	10.5	10.5
	4:30	12	22.5
	7:15	9	31.5
	10:30	9.5	41
	1:00	8.25	49.25
	2:00	2.75	52
	4:30	7.75	59.75
	7&8	12	71.75
			71.75 oz



Date	Time	Amount
19-Mar	2:15	19.5	19.5
	5:00	8	27.5
	7:30	8	35.5
	9:30	6	41.5
	11:20	6	47.5
	1:45	7.25	54.75
	5:00	12.25	67
	9:20	10	77
	10:00	8	85
			85 oz


Date	Time	Amount
20-Mar	2:25 AM	12	12
	6:00	12.25	24.25
	9:00	8.25	32.5
	11:45	8	40.5
	2:15	8	48.5
	5:00	7.5	56
	9:00	13	69
	9:50	4	73
			73 oz


Date	Time	Amount
21-Mar	2:00	12	12
	6:00	12	24
	8:00	6.5	30.5
	12:00	13	43.5
	2:00	7.5	51
	5:30	10.5	61.5
	8:00	10	71.5
			71.5 oz

Date	Time	Amount
22-Mar	12:15	11	11
	3:20	11	22
	5:55	8	30
	8:30	9.5	39.5
	11:00	7	46.5
	1:15	8	54.5
	5:00	12	66.5
	7:15	9	75.5
	9:00	5.5	81
			81 oz


Date	Time	Amount
23-Mar	1:50	12	12
	6:00	14.5	26.5
	8:45	7.5	34
	12:00	13	47
	3:15	9	56
	6:00	8.5	64.5
	9:30	12	76.5
			76.5 oz


Date	Time	Amount
24-Mar	1:35	15	15
	6:15	12.5	27.5
	8:30	10	37.5
	11:10	7.5	45
	1:30	7	52
	4:00	9	61
	7:00	9	70
	9:30	9.5	79.5
			79.5 oz


Date	Time	Amount
25-Mar	3:20	21.25	21.25
	7:00	10	31.25
	10:00	12	43.25
	1:00	7	50.25
	4:50	12	62.25
	5:50	3.5	65.75
	8:00	8	73.75
clog?			73.75 oz


Date	Time	Amount
26-Mar	2:20	20.5	20.5
clog?	6:25	13	33.5
PISA	11	11.5	45
	1:50	10.5	55.5
	4:20	6	61.5
	7:30	12	73.5
	9:40	9	82.5
			82.5 oz


Date	Time	Amount
27-Mar	3:15	18	18
	6:30	9.5	27.5
	9:00	6	33.5
	11:30	10	43.5
	2:00	8.5	52
	4:30	7.5	59.5
	7:00	8.5	68
	9:30		68

Logan's week in pictures!

2009-03-26T20:23:00.000-07:00

Friday night fun with the boys!

Saturday night fun with the cousins!

Sunday night fun! It's a Sock Monkey!

Tuesday night at the ball field!

A long, exhausting, birthday weekend!

2009-03-25T11:08:00.000-07:00

I'm just finally getting caught up after Logan's birthday weekend (if you recall I tend to stretch out the birthday's longer than necessary).

Thursday night an IM friend was in town and I hadn't seen her since this summer, so of course I had to meet up with her for a quick visit before she left town. I was pretty tired that day, but not hooking up was out of the question. I left our visit around 9:30 and successfully pumped in the van on the drive home. This allowed me to go to bed as soon as I walked in the door-30 more minutes of sleep!

Friday was a minimum day for the kids (as was Thursday). Ciera went to a friends house for the afternoon and Logan had 3 friends come home with him. We went out for lunch at Taco Bell and then the boys played Guitar Hero World Tour, made videos with the new camcorder and dug a hole for their 'time capsule'. In the afternoon we headed out for miniature golf and some laser tag. I am not a mini golf fan, but it was fun to watch the boys. Brian had taken the day off to help out in case I wasn't physically up for it (we didn't know how I'd be feeling when we planned it-plus pumping with 4 10 year old boys isn't the easiest thing to do). We've never done laser tag before, so it was a very odd feeling to turn 4 boys over and not go in the room with them. It just seemed like they needed some parental supervision, but the gal assured me they would be fine and that's how it's done. So Brian waited for them and I went to the van to pump. When we got home they finished up their time capsule and buried it while I made dinner-taco meat, nacho cheese, refried beans, tortillas, chips and lettuce for "Make whatever you want". They watched a movie, had cookie pie and ice cream before going to bed (or whispering in bed for hours).

On Saturday the boys all left early due to prior Saturday commitments. I got up early to make pancakes and scrambled eggs. When the last boy left at 9 I headed back to bed, I was exhausted. Ciera had a pitching lesson and Logan and I just hung out. We all watched Twilight before heading to my 12 year old nephew's rainy baseball game, where I of course pumped in the van again. After the game the cousins came home with us to sleepover for Logan's birthday. We picked up Little Caesar's Pizza and had more ice cream. The 3 boys did a lot of 'movie making' and Guitar Hero World Tour. There was even some 'shirtless' World Tour going on at one point!

Sunday Ciera had softball practice, but I got to sleep until about 9, at which point I had promised the boys breakfast. They continued playing World Tour most of the morning and afternoon. Around 3 the rest of the family showed up for Logan's family dinner. Logan chose to have breaded pork chops, mashed potatoes with gravy and corn (I forgot he wanted corn, so I chose asparagus). Grandma volunteered to make the pork chops for us and I was SO grateful. We all love breaded pork chops, but I really don't care to make them so we have them rarely. He chose Chocolate silk pie for dessert, as well as ice cream. Then it was present time. He ended up with everything he wanted, including a sock monkey! The day passed quickly and it was already Sunday night. I think we all went to bed exhausted but happy that night.

Monday I happily went back to bed after taking the kids to school. I was still able to get a good nap, but it felt more 'normal' than all of my napping the previous 4 weeks (or months). I felt really good the rest of the day. Logan and I discovered that the horrible smell in his room was coming from his bed. At some point over the weekend, the boys must've gotten too rowdy on the bed-the waterbed. One of the tubes (thank goodness it's tubes and not one giant bladder) had no water in it and the rest of the bed material had soaked it all up and was stinking! Lucky Logan got to sleep on our floor that night. Monday night Ciera and I headed out to try to find some 'transitional' pieces for my wardrobe. I found a couple of things that should help and Ciera got to look at all of the Twilight stuff at Walmart while I picked up some groceries.

Tuesday I spent the morning doing loads of laundry. I also finally went through my boxes of clothing to see what I had to wear now, soon and next year. I packed up some of the maternity stuff that I'm definitely not wearing anymore and labeled the other boxes so I know when they may fit again. I then did some typing at the school. Ciera had a 7:30 game that night, so we headed out for a long night. Ciera's finger is still bothering her (she hit it again, so it's recently sore) so we weren't sure how she'd do playing. Hitting seemed to cause the most pain, so they had her bunt. Her first time up she struck out bunting and looked scared to death. The second and third time she layed down 2 beautiful bunts and made it to 1st (she's been working on her speed-she had none). We were all in bed by 10:45, but that is really late for a school night! Logan's bed was still not put back together, so he got another night on our bedroom floor. This is actually a treat for him. He would choose to sleep on our floor every night if given the option.

Wednesday we all woke up tired, but we made it to school on time! I did some copying and finished up the typing. We are out of wheat bread and turkey and we have an out of town tournament this weekend, so I stopped by to pick up some groceries. I'm working on finishing up the laundry (5 loads and I'm still not done) and putting Logan's bed back together. I may even sneak in a little cat nap today. Ciera had a lesson tonight and Logan has some essays he's working on editing tonight.

Thursday and Friday are minimum days again, so I won't get much done. Ciera has practice Thursday night, Brian and I have eye dr. appointments and conferences Friday afternoon. Friday is Brian's moms birthday, so we will be having dinner with his family that night-roast beef.

This weekend we are in Stockton for a tournament and then the week starts all over again with a ton of laundry to do.

My rental pump has to go back tomorrow, so today is my last day with my magic Symphony. From the posts I've read on the Exclusively Pumping website, I probably won't notice much difference in my supply when I switch over tomorrow. I'm hoping not! I'm producing between 68 and 85 oz a day now, with most days hovering in the mid 70's. This is so much better than last time I pumped. I can not express how thrilled I am about that!

I'm feeling pretty normal this week. My incision finally feels, well, it doesn't feel-and that's what I've been waiting for-to no longer notice it. I can actually sleep on my side without feeling like the incision is going to tear open, except I can't sleep on my side because of my giant milk filled breasts. They are still extremely sensitive and acting as if it is very cold outside-all the time. Aside from that and a painful let down every 2-3 hours, they are doing well also. Fortunately I'm not a leaker and haven't had to worry about pads to protect my shirts. Oh the joys of lactating! The chocolate NEED is going down, now it's just a habit to break. My swelling is still going down, but walking down the stairs is getting less painful. The scale is moving slowly, but it's still moving. I plan to start out slow, but I think it will actually feel good to get my body moving again. I figured I'd start by walking the dog daily and then move up to the Wii Fit. Eventually I'll get back to the gym, but it will probably bring a decrease in milk production, so I'll wait a bit for that. I'm really fighting the desire to cut off my hair. I'm pretty sure my hairdresser will be against it, so I probably won't, but I feel like it would be a great change!

I'm now rambling, so that usually means I should quit typing. I've got to try and get Logan's bed put back together anyhow. Hopefully I can get the week in pictures up soon.

1 month old!!

2009-03-22T10:04:00.000-07:00

As I was dating a batch of milk at 3 am this morning it hit me, the babies were born 1 month ago! I am 1 month PP. That's 4 weeks!! Where has the time gone? I haven't hardly even done anything yet!! Soon V&B will be 6 week old babies, and I recall far too clearly that there is a huge difference between a newborn and a 6 week old baby!

I've been meaning to blog about something for awhile, but then my brain/heart gives out and it doesn't make it into print. I've been told repeatedly 'I bet you're glad to have your body back'. or something similar, but it's not a thought I've really had. My head and heart were committed to staying pregnant until March and really I wasn't ready to be done 'gestating'. Having been pregnant with twins before I knew what was in store for me and I had mentally prepared myself (as well as making many physical adjustments to our life and family) to get through a long, physically trying pregnancy. I really wasn't feeling 'tired' of carting around so much baby and extra body weight (although I'm definitely feeling all of that extra weight now). Delivering was a really bittersweet experience. Of course I'm thrilled that the babies are now with their family, that's what the whole pregnancy was about. But at the same time, overnight I'm no longer pregnant. I've wondered if it had to do with the pre-eclampsia and the 'suddenness' of our delivery, but most deliveries happen suddenly, so that doesn't seem right. However, P& L were a planned delivery. The only times I've had a sudden delivery is with my own kids, but my pregnant belly was replaced with a baby and I felt it was a trade I was willing to make. In this situation my hugely pregnant belly was replaced with a pump and a mind that was really prepared and willing to carry for 2-3 more weeks. Would I have ever felt 'done'? Plus, this is likely my final pregnancy, unless the family can be convinced in 1 1/2 years or STE decides to have just one more in 4 years (or I move to Canada). I'm not really expecting any of those things to happen and at the very least I have 1 1/2 years before I would ever get to be pregnant again anyhow.

So today is also a bit bittersweet. Four weeks ago everything changed, for all of us. The babies are growing and changing so quickly and I have to wait 5 more weeks to go see them! I know in my head that there was not a better time to get away and go visit, but 5 more weeks seems like an eternity. There are many upsides to waiting to visit though. The babies will be a bit interactive by then, and I'm sure they'll be dang adorable. The family will have had time to adjust and figure out how to function as a family of 6. I should be much more hormonally stable by then and hopefully I'll have found something else to wear besides maternity clothes!!

Feel free to skip to the next paragraph if you don't want to read my rant about clothing! We're smack in the middle of 'iffy' weather. Some days it's cold and rainy and you really want warmth, the next day it's a bright and hot 78 degrees and you can't wait to get some color. If it stayed warm I would be OK, I could go out and buy a few capris in a size that I hope to only wear for a few weeks/months, but that's OK and expected-my PP clothing is part of my maternity wear. I KNOW that I need a few outfits in sizes that will not be worn for long, that's just how I gain during a pregnancy. But what do I do on those cold days? The stores no longer have 'warm' clothing in stock. I'm stuck with my maternity clothes, but I am a tad smaller and they are all elastic waists. Does anyone know what elastic waisted pants look like on my butt after a few hours of wear? Not pretty-definitely not something that makes me feel good about how I look. I've been dwelling on this topic for a good week or so. I've decided to try to find a few 'spring' outfits and hope that it just stays warm. And on those days that it's not warm, I'll just wrap myself in a blanket out at the ball field, no one will notice the saggy butt pants that way!

Thursday I had my appointment with Dr. E. I had been a bit concerned about my incision and I was still experiencing swelling in my legs and feet (although they fit in a shoe and that's nice). My blood pressure is great, so there's no need to worry about the swelling. I'm told that it will eventually go away and I look forward to that day. Apparently my incision looks just fine and I will just have to stop obsessing about the things that I think look 'not quite right' (although I'll still monitor it in case I'm really right). So basically I've been cleared and I don't even have to go back at 6 weeks, unless I want to, doc said I'm always welcome to just come visit :) We did talk some about another pregnancy, although I wasn't prepared for the conversation, I thought I'd be going back in 2 weeks. Having had 2 c-sections there is a slightly higher risk, but that there was nothing to indicate that I shouldn't consider carrying again. The report from my c-section showed nothing of concern, so the uterus still looks good and the scar is fine as well. My husband's concern with me carrying again is that I will be 35 in September, almost 36 by the time I would be willing to be pregnant again. He had the lack of common sense to say to me, "I think you'll be too old", that did not go over too well. Fortunately I knew that what he meant to say is "would it be safe for you at 36?" Logan thinks I shouldn't do it again because if they wanted a sibling than I would have to do it 2 more times. My response to that is we'll just have to carry for someone that is already has a child and is just hoping for a sibling. Ciera's only reason is because I hormonally overreacted to her 'changes' after I returned home from the hospital. She didn't care to be on the receiving end of my emotions. But honestly in 1 1/2 years I think she'll be used to my overreacting to her continual changes out of girl hood. And then there's my hang ups. Sometimes I can clearly see myself carrying for someone else-it almost feels selfish of me to not. But then there are times that I can't imagine carrying for anyone other than STE and family. There's something beautiful and satisfying about having helped this one family and I should just leave it alone and be happy. But then there's the other part that feels like this is something special that I'm good at and there are so many families waiting to be born. There are definitely certain families or stories that have touched me and I can easily envision helping them, but they may not really need or want my help. Only time will tell.

Next up: the final birthday weekend tales.

74 lbs of milk delivered safely by FedEx!

2009-03-18T17:55:00.000-07:00

This was our first try with FedEx ground 2 day delivery, with no dry ice. It made it there by 2:00, 45 hours after I dropped it off. There are a few things we'll do differently when we box it next time (insulate the sides somehow) but it sounds like we didn't really lose any and most of it was still entirely frozen (unless STE didn't want to hear me cry about melted/ruined milk).

I also need to note for posterity that I ended up with my first clog yesterday. It seems to be worked out and never got 'really' bad, but yesterday was an uncomfortable pumping day. My production took a bit of a hit, but it seems to be back up today.

I'm big on posterity today. I spent a good while creating an Excel sheet to track my milk production since leaving the hospital. It's a little obsessive, but I find it very rewarding to see a running total for the day. I guess we'll see how long I care to keep up the careful tracking, but at least this way I no longer have to add it up myself.

Logan had a friend come over today and they made a 14 minute video of them playing pool together. I can't WAIT to watch that one! It was his first 'solo' project though, so that was neat to see his enthusiasm.

Ciera is back out on the softball field testing out how much she can and can't do with her 'injured' finger. She's been instructed to 'suck it up some' and try to play through the pain (without injuring it worse of course).

X-ray report

2009-03-18T11:03:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to announce that Ciera's finger is NOT fractured!! She no longer has an excuse to not participate in P.E.(and will hopefully be back on the field for Thursday's practice)!

I wore myself out on Monday, running around trying to get everything just right for Logan's birthday. I planned to take a little nap on Tuesday, and I felt much better after just a 2 hour nap. We had a softball game that night and that's about it.

Pumping is still going amazingly well. Depending on the day, I'm getting anywhere between 68 & 76 oz.! On Monday I sent my first 16 days worth of milk up to the babies-74 lbs worth of milk (and that's with my low producing days). I'm quite excited to see how quickly it adds up.

I finally called my dr. about a few concerns I've had about my recovery and I have an appointment Thursday morning to make sure everything is healing well and my blood pressure is where it should be. I felt/looked pretty swollen Monday night, but it could be because I did so much running around for the first time in several weeks.

Today was my first day back at school to make copies. It felt good to be back, although it was tough to get out the door dressed, pumped and ready to go. We did make it on time, but I had to give up breakfast.

I had given myself permission to continue wearing maternity clothes until the end of March, but I'm starting to grow irritated with my options. I REALLY don't want to go out and do the PP clothes shopping trip though. I know I will not be this size forever, or even longer than a season, but it's so hard to go out and buy stuff that you are certain and confident that you won't wear for long. I'm cautious about actively trying to lose much weight immediately because I really want to make sure I'm healed well and I don't want my milk supply to take a big hit. So the weight loss will be gradual and it will not happen overnight. Perhaps I will suck it up and go shopping next week. The kids have minimum days on Thursday and Friday, so there's really not any time to do it this week, plus I have to work up the courage and desire.

Happy Birthday Logan Michael!

2009-03-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

9 year old Logan

10 year old Logan

Today my baby turned 10 years old!! How is it possible that my youngest child is actually in double digits?!

Birthdays are a big deal at our house (as a result of a Christmas birthday for the first born that we went out of our way to make special-we have to make everyone's birthday just as special). We tend to extend the birthday's for as long as we can. Friday Logan got his hair cut so that he'd go back to school on his birthday with a 'new do'. He'd been contemplating it for awhile, but could never decide what he really wanted to do with it. I was terrified of him getting it cut and being upset or disappointed, so we waited until he had a clear 'vision'.

Sunday, Brian took him to Long John Silver's for a special meal. Ciera and I don't eat fish (except tuna), so we let this be a special daddy/Logan outing. They also picked out a birthday baseball glove that day. Last week his new guitar for Guitar Hero World Tour arrived and he got to open it up early too.

Today was Logan's day to bring snack to school, but they aren't allowed to bring in anything with 'sugar' like a birthday cupcake. So, he chose nachos! I actually got to buy one of those giant cans of nacho cheese from Costco. He also got to wear his 'birthday shirt' today. Logan chose to have Taco Bell for his birthday lunch and even got to have a soda at school.

As soon as Brian got home, Logan got to open his gifts. His sister gave him a bunch of pens and Axe hair stuff for his new 'do. He also got his very own camcorder! I'm not sure what he plans to do with it, but he really wanted one. He also got a few cards in the mail and a Walmart gift card that he was very excited about!

Then it was time for dinner. Logan chose to go to KFC and then a big desert at Leatherby's. Many people love this ice cream parlor. I remember thinking it was pretty special when I was a kid. Logan and Ciera really enjoyed the giant serving of ice cream and Logan's was dripping with fudge and caramel. As an adult I found the place a little overrated.

When we got home Logan and Brian played some catch and some video games before bed. My sweet little man has gotten so big and now calls us Mom and Dad, but he still gave me a sweet kiss and hug goodnight. He no longer responds to us if we don't call him by his actual name. Gone are the days that we could call him any nickname, but he'll always be my little bear!

Still to come this week is his family dinner-pork chops and mashed potatoes with gravy, his sleepover with his cousins and his sleepover with a few friends from school.

It's been a good 10 years!

Quite the weekend!

2009-03-15T20:11:00.000-07:00

I absolutely HATE bumping pictures of the babies! If you haven't seen the latest pictures of the 4 kiddos, please scroll down. The picture is priceless. It's the one I carry around with me to show people!

This weekend we had Ciera's first softball tournament of the season. Fortunately it was a local tournament, but it was a breezy, cold (for CA) day. Ciera did great during the first game. She stole, slid into second and had to dive back to 3rd. Sadly, she jammed her finger pretty good on her dive back to 3rd. She went out and played 1st for one more inning and then the pain got to her and she let her coach know she was hurt. By that time it had already swollen up pretty bad. She continued to ice it for the rest of the day, but she was out for the rest of the tournament.

The team did great though. They tied their first game and beat the pants of the next two teams. We didn't have to return on Sunday until 12:00. They lost 5-3 so the day ended fairly early for a Sunday.

After the game I took Ciera to Urgent Care where they x-rayed her finger. It appears as though she has a small fracture. They are going to have the radiologist confirm it on Tuesday (I guess they don't come in on Mondays?). She's in a splint until then and possibly for 3-4 weeks! It does look really bad, swollen and bruised. I just hope it's not really fractured!

Logan rediscovered baseball on Thursday. He had given it up several years ago after 2 boring years in kid pitch. He still has a pretty good arm and even went out to hit on Friday to test out those skills. He spent the weekend throwing with his dad and decided he'd really like a new baseball mitt for his birthday. He's even considering playing baseball in the fall, this is a huge step for him. It's been exciting to see him rediscover something that he was so good at. His dad took him to the store Sunday afternoon to pick out the glove. He was SO excited! They then spent 2 hours out at the park playing catch.

I had a VERY successful weekend pumping away from home. I was a bit worried that my production would be lower, just because I'm not able to pump at exactly 2 1/2 hours. I was still able to get a good 68 oz + each day. I did have my first experience with spilled milk this time around. On Sunday morning I woke up at 3:10 with my shirt soaked-who knows how much milk was wasted. And if that wasn't bad enough, the bottle filled up so quickly I lost milk out the side due to poor bottle positioning by me. I soaked my sheet AND down comforter (that doesn't actually fit in my washer). Despite losing an unimaginable amount of milk, I was still able to collect 21 oz at 3am in the morning!

I felt pretty good physically this weekend. I didn't get to nap, but I felt OK. I'm hopeful that this week will be better. I do need to put in a call to my dr. though. I discovered yesterday that there is a small area of my incision that doesn't seem to be 'closed' anymore. It's small enough that it may be fine, but I'll feel much more comfortable if a professional tells me it's ok (not just my hubby).

Sunday night is our last night with a 9 year old! I can hardly believe that my baby, my youngest, is already in double digits!! When I found out I was expecting a boy, I was terrified. I was so afraid of raising a son, but he has turned out to be a joy and I'm so glad that I got to experience 'him'. There have been challenges, 3 was SO hard, but overall he has been an absolute joy! As much as I've loved him being every age, I really look forward to seeing him continue to grow into a wonderful man. I feel quite confident that he's going to be a wonderful husband and father, just like his dad! Happy 10th birthday little bear!

The fantasic four...

2009-03-14T23:14:00.000-07:00

So we're nearly three weeks as a family of 6. B & V are doing fantastically. We had a little issue with low weight gain in the beginning, but I think we've nipped it in the bud with some extra supplementing, and creamier breast milk. We'll be set when Cyn's first shipment arrives, it's like 1/3 cream! So far they are staying on similar schedules, and last night we even got one 5 hour stretch of sleep! (hopefully it wasn't a fluke). We are loving every minute with our new little dears, and are already starting to see the beginnings of personality differences between them- can't wait to see how they develop.

P&L are doing about as good as can be expected. A little more clingy (we're having problems doing preschool drop off again), and a few more tantrums - but in all, not bad. They're very interested in the new little ones, and are constantly trying to hug them, kiss them, feed them and generally suffocate them. Really, no one has figured out how to child proof an infant from toddlers? To be honest, keeping them safe from my well meaning 2 year olds is my biggest challenge. If anyone knows where I can buy bouncy seats that are 4 feet off the floor let me know.

DH and I are adjusting. Feeling pretty tired, but extremely happy and grateful for these wonderful children, and the addition of Cyn and her family in our life. We're looking forward for her visit up in another month- and can't wait to show them off. In the meantime, here is a photo taken by my friend Rebecca McBreaty. Clockwise from the top is L, B, V and P.

Baby Landen Pictures

2009-03-13T15:41:00.000-07:00

My nephew
Landen Reese
born 3/9/09

Big Brother Ryder!

Today has been good!

2009-03-13T15:32:00.000-07:00

I woke up still feeling tired, but by 8:00 I was feeling pretty good. I still took a 2 hour nap before taking the kids' hot lunch. Since we have a tournament this weekend, I decided it was time that I braved the grocery store. It really wasn't too bad and now we have lots of fresh fruits and vegetables for Ciera to eat. The rest of us have yummy lunch foods as well as some 'snacks'.

It may not sound like a productive day, but it was my first real outing during the week. I was a little afraid it might've worn me out, but I'm feeling pretty good and think I'll get through the rest of the day just fine.

If I can brag for just a moment, I'm up to 68.5 oz of milk each day. I still have 13 more days with the 'amazing pump' and I just hope I can maintain this volume. Regardless, it's still more than I produced last time, so I'm quite thrilled!

A thank you post!

2009-03-11T19:46:00.000-07:00

My sweet husband brought me home a surprise tonight. I was hoping for chocolate, but he got me a new keyboard instead. Our space bar had been sticking for several weeks, so it was a very thoughtful gift. I think it might've been his way of trying to 'cheer me up' after my two days of emotional and irrational responses to life.

I should also thank him for taking such good care of me during my first few days home from the hospital. It would've been much harder to get out of bed without his help. I'm SO thankful that he is such a wonderful father and that I didn't have to worry about my kids at all while in the hospital (I did have to worry that the trash would go out on Monday morning, but never about the kids' needs). I also owe him a HUGE thank you for putting up with me throughout the pregnancy, rubbing my feet when asked and supporting me in general through both surrogacies. Surrogacy was not something that he felt passionately about, but he understood that I did and supported my desire to help someone else have what we have, children.

I of course have to thank my kids as well. They dealt with this pregnancy much better than the first, but I think that was due to several reasons. First of all they were older, which I think makes everything easier. Secondly, we really thought out the planning of this pregnancy. I set up our lives so that the pregnancy would hopefully not take away from their needs. I was able to rest while they were in school and the delivery came during our 'slow season' as far as the kids' activities.

I need to send a giant thank you out to Melissa for always being available when I needed her and for being so supportive always. It was so nice to have her with me at the ultrasounds and to have lunch with her afterwards. I'm so glad she could be with me at the hospital and was the first 'visitor' to see the babies. Thank you again Melissa for allowing me the opportunity to help STE and S. I've said it before, but I don't know that I could've been so selfless as to have 'given up' such a wonderful couple. You are a far more thoughtful and less jealous person than I.

Thanks to our families for supporting us through these pregnancies. I think they probably understood even less than Brian WHY I would want to carry for someone else. But they were supportive and helpful even if they didn't quite get it (although I think they do understand better now that they've gotten to know the family and see the end result).

I need to thank STE's parents for my Christmas gift. I received a Rosemary Mint bath set and without that shower gel and lotion I would not have been so relaxed the last two months. I used the gel in my bath and Brian would rub my feet with the lotion. The scent was so relaxing and it was much appreciated!

Most importantly I need to thank STE & S. So many people have so many different experiences through surrogacy. I am so thankful to have the relationship that we have. I am honored to have been chosen to play such an integral part in their family, not once but twice. It's not every day that someone allows you into their lives and their hearts. They made this experience so wonderful. They were always thoughtful and considerate of my needs and desires. I also received many thoughtful gifts that I will treasure forever (I neglected to capture the beautiful flowers I received, but they made my bedroom smell so good). I was so touched by how much they actually cared about me and how I was feeling. They have been fantastic about updating me about the kids and how they are growing. They have always made me feel more than welcome in their home. And they are fantastic parents! When I think about surrogacy I don't think 'how amazing am I to do this for someone', I always feel how amazing it is that someone would allow me to do this for them and to let me be a part of something so meaningful.

I loved every minute of carrying a second pregnancy for them. We all knew each other so much better and really had a better idea of what to expect. It made every minute that much more enjoyable and less stressful. It was so nice to not worry about what will happen when the babies were born, would I ever hear from them again. I knew without a doubt that I will always hear from them and be welcome in their homes, by them and their family members (who are all so wonderful to be around). I only hope that they did not feel cheated out of any experiences because I was so comfortable this time around.

While I'm at it I should thank all of you who managed to stick around and read all of my ramblings. I started this blog as a way to keep STE and family updated and to have a way to easily record the pregnancy. I was not expecting to be so supported by others in the 'blog community'. I rally did appreciate all of the support and well wishes. It was so nice to see that others actually read what I had to say.

Who knows what the future will hold for me now, but I am so thankful to have had such an amazing experience in my life and can not wait to see how these 4 precious children will change the world!

Thank you again, to each of you!!

Ugh, updating finally!

2009-03-11T13:08:00.000-07:00

I have been so exhausted since this weekend. I'm actually starting to get a little worried. We'll see if next week gets any better and I'll start regularly taking my iron. Hopefully it was just the busy weekend and the time change that is making it so hard for me to function this week.

Saturday Logan had his last basketball game and I got to pump in the van for the first time. The Medela Symphony is far more portable than I would've thought. The game went well and then they had a quick team party. On the way home we stopped by Target for some ointment to relieve the pumping discomfort and an 8 oz bottle for the night time pumping. Most of the afternoon was spent hanging out, pumping, playing video games, pitching with Ciera and a short nap for me. I had been on the ball and was able to throw a marinated London Broil into the oven for dinner.

About 5:30 Brian started to complain about his back hurting, but that it was different from the regular 'back pain' he gets every now and then when he plays too hard with the kids. By 6:10 I was on the phone with the doctor to find out where he could be seen. It was decided that Urgent Care would be better than the ER. Not realizing how serious his pain was I said we'd go after the food was done so that the kids could eat while we were gone. He was still trying to be brave at this point and said it was fine. He did take a Vicodin (thank you surgery) before we left. Traffic was horrible and it took 45 minutes to get there, meanwhile Brian was in excruciating pain-panting and moaning the whole way. While waiting to be seen Brian paced outside and then suddenly the pain was not so severe and he was able to sit and wait patiently. They really didn't do much for him other than send him home with a urine strainer (in case it was Kidney Stones) and a prescription for Vicodin. I had planned to pump in the van when we got there, but my adaptor stopped working. I finally gave in and pumped in the bathroom at 8:00 (I was due to pump at 6). Of course it was a Saturday, which meant we had to go to the 24 hour pharmacy that is always busy and another 15 minutes the opposite direction. At 9:45 we were able to head home. We had an early and busy day planned for Sunday, plus the time change, so we were already feeling tired. We were home at 10:30 and after pumping again were in bed by 11:15. Brian has felt fine since then and is just hopeful that it doesn't happen again.

Sunday Brian took Ciera to practice from 8:45-1 and then got to go see Watchmen with his brother in law. Logan and I got to sleep in and then I headed down to pick Ciera up from practice. We then went to grandma's house to get her jersey altered (the armpits have become too small). I pumped at grandma's and had planned to pump in the van again while Ciera tried on softball pants. The adaptor wouldn't work again so we ended up rushing through the errands so I could get home. We picked up some groceries, some herbs to help increase milk supply and a Twilight calendar. We still didn't make it home before 5:30.

I had really figured I'd be good to go by this week, but I was just exhausted Monday, we all were actually. I went back to bed after taking the kids to school. My mom came by to see me in the afternoon and then it was time to pick up the kids again. Logan and I had dinner at Taco Bell while Ciera had a pitching lesson. Then they went to look for softball pants again. After going to every store that carries them, she decided that nothing fit better than the pair she already had, but hates. They came home with a $50 under armour shirt that is going back because she will never really wear the one they bought, it's just too thick. Then at bed time my emotions and hormones (yes I'm blaming the hormones for this one) got the best of me and Ciera and I got into it a bit. Brian of course smoothed things over with Ciera, so I was then upset with him as well (totally rational I know).

Tuesday wasn't a whole lot better. The gals came to clean one last time and I ran to Target to see about an Under Armour alternative that she might wear and that wasn't $50. I came home with 3 different sizes, 2 sports bras in varying sizes and an eyeshadow quartet that she had wanted over the weekend but it was busted. After pumping I was asleep until lunch time. I woke to eat, pump and then went back to bed until school got out. After school Ciera and I 'worked things out', I washed her shirt for the game, made dinner, pumped and showered so we could be out the door at 5:30 for Ciera's first game of the season. The game went well, it's basically a practice game and they played around with positions quite a bit. Ciera got to pitch and play first for some of the game. It was great to see her back on the field and see all of her hard work being used. She even had to slide into third-which she hates, but it was wonderful to see her do it when it was necessary!

Tuesday afternoon was a tough time for me emotionally. I think things are finally starting to come to a head. I could've cried the entire afternoon about everything, but mostly my hormonal reactions with Ciera. I realize that she is 12 and some of these things are just par for the age, but I'm definitely NOT dealing with them rationally. I ran out of chocolate Monday and I wonder if my massive daily intake of chocolate has had a bit of a mood stabilizing effect. I definitely crashed Tuesday. I had about 1/3 of a Mountain Dew and I felt much better. I will absolutely keep tabs on how I'm doing and keep an eye out for PP depression. Ciera also suggested I go buy some more chocolate.

Today I'm feeling a bit more balanced. I still napped from 9-11. The kids had a minimum day today because of Open House tonight, so there will be no afternoon nap (which is why I'm finally updating). Ciera went to a friends house and Logan has his friend over as well. Logan and I will go see the Orthodontist this afternoon. They have to make the mold for his retainer and 'stuff' (whatever else they are doing but I can't remember). I don't imagine it will be alot of fun. Logan has a really sensitive gag reflex, so we'll see. Then we have Open House at the school. Every night I hope we can get to bed early and every night it's almost 10 before the kids are both tucked in.

I haven't mentioned anything about the babies since they went home and I'm sure some of you are eager to hear how they are doing. It feels a little weird to post about someone else's babies, even though I know that STE would not mind. When they were with me it felt like my duty to report on their happenings, but now that they're home it almost feels intrusive for ME to tell about them. But I recognize that STE barely has time to sleep and you'd all probably like to know. They're doing quite well. They lost their cords fairly early and got to have their first of many baths. Sleeping and eating had been a challenge initially, but it sounds like STE has almost got them on schedules and they are starting to sleep a bit longer as well. P&L are adjusting as one would expect, a little clingier, but still not asking for the babies to go away. It is just amazing to me how well this family handles everything. They truly make it sound easy!

I know I promised a 'mushy' emotional post, but honestly I haven't had it in me yet. I've got so many thoughts floating around in my head and if I ever feel energetic enough to process them, I'll post it.

Welcome to the world Landen Reese!!

2009-03-09T17:39:00.000-07:00

My nephew, Landen Reese, was born via c-section today! He was scheduled to be born April 2, but his water broke early this morning and he was born around 6:30am in Alaska! He was over 7lbs although he was born over 4 weeks early. Both mom and baby are doing well. Landen is having some trouble with breathing, but that is to be expected at his age.

What I find interesting is that Landen was born 13 days after I delivered V&B. My niece Dorothy was born 16 days after P&L.

I owe a weekend update, but it will have to wait as I have a dinner date with Logan.

Ah, Friday!

2009-03-06T17:02:00.000-08:00

I am feeling much better today and am so grateful that so many people are still reading. I know the really exciting part is over and I'm touched that so many of you continue to check in on things.

Ciera's chin seems fine today. When I asked her about it, she appeared to have forgotten all about the injury. She was upset last night that people would be able to see it though. I assured her that most people don't look at the underside of people's chins and she should be safe.

I was not the lucky winner that got to sleep in this morning, but when you've got to get up to pump it hardly matters. Ciera did get up 20 minutes late and managed to hog the shower and bathroom for over an hour. Logan opted to skip his shower and just wet his hair down (which is always his choice if I give it to him). We did manage to get to school on time and then I headed back to bed.

I am LOVING the hospital grade Symphony Pump. I am up to over 50 ounces at 12 days PP, which compared to my production last time is fabulous! I am pumping every 2 1/2-3 hours from about 6:30am-9/11pm and I wake once in the night, usually around 2:30. This is about how often I pumped last time, but with the Symphony I only have to pump for 15-20 minutes and I know I was pumping more like 30-40 minutes with the PIS (original version).

It was a fairly quiet day. Brian took Logan a hot lunch and then headed to the gym. He recently went back and remembered how much he actually enjoyed going. This makes it much easier for him to want to go on a day off. He got home just in time to watch Wife Swap with me. He also did up our taxes finally and we'll be looking forward to a nice refund-just in time for softball hotel expenses.

Logan has his final basketball game tomorrow. He's enjoyed playing but is definitely excited about being on a new team for the spring season, which starts in April. Next week is the beginning of our softball season. She has her first game on Tuesday and the first tournament over the weekend. It will probably be a bit cold for awhile, but it will be nice to get back into playing/watching.

It's almost report card time again, which means school is almost over! It's amazing how quickly the school year really goes by. It's also a little scary to think about how much they still have to learn this year. Logan's teacher this year has focused a lot on writing, which has greatly improved his writing skills, but I fear that his math has suffered this year. He doesn't seem to retain the math as well as he used to, and honestly most of it should be review for him. Next year should be a very good balance though, I just hope he's prepared. Ciera has begun to slide a little as well, but she assures me that she knows how to do it, she's just not taking her time. We'll see next week if she's really making the appropriate changes. At least she's over her math frustration that we spent all last weekend working on. She's also stopped stating that I push her too much and expect too much of her. I guess we'll know for sure in 3 more weeks.

Thursday-11 days PP

2009-03-05T18:25:00.000-08:00

Another day, another few pounds lost and a few ounces increased. I still have a bit of swelling, but it's so much better now. I can move and bend in ways that I haven't been able to do in months. I'm still sleepy and cold, but I woke up this afternoon to a very warm room. The sun was out and really helped to warm things up.

Today has been good, but this evening is not so good. I'm cranky, irritable and I have a tremendous headache that the Tylenol doesn't seem to be touching. I think I will be going to bed early or at least watching TV from bed (Sober House and American Idol are both on tonight).

Logan is off to basketball practice and has been crocheting like a mad man. Ciera went to hit today and took a ball to the chin-she's not happy.

Our dog is definitely having some transition issues with the other dog being gone. He actually peed on Ciera's backpack this morning-just because! I'm sure it will work out in the end, but good grief, we've been through the training stuff already!

I have nothing profound or useful to say in my current mood, so I will just hope to wake up tomorrow feeling better. Brian is off again, furlough Friday, so we'll see who gets to sleep in and who gets to take the kids to school.

An outing!

2009-03-04T15:21:00.001-08:00

I have been feeling really good and stopped taking my Ibuprofen yesterday. I am now only taking my prenatal, iron and stool softener. I'm still pretty tired, but it's only because I'm waking in the night to pump. I want to do as much as I can to establish a good supply before my rental is up on the hospital grade pump. I know my other pump will do a great job of maintaining my supply once it's established.

I had decided Monday night that we would go to the shoe store in town after school to see about basketball shoes for Logan and Ciera has been dying to check out the Converse selection. I figured it was close enough that if I felt I was pushing things we could just leave, no harm done. Well I did just fine. We didn't end up with basketball shoes, but Logan found a new pair of DC sneakers that he really wanted and at a great price, plus his birthday is just days away.

I was still feeling really good despite stopping my meds, so we went out to dinner at our new Red Robin. Red Robin is one of my favorite places to eat and it just opened up in town. I thought it might be nice to have a 'thank you family for supporting me' dinner. We even splurged on Onion Rings. I was shocked when the bill came, although I shouldn't have been if I'd done the math. The kids no longer eat of the kids menu and we ordered an appetizer. Most of us had enough left over for lunch though, so that helps to even things out. It certainly helps me to appreciate our new found ability to eat at home though.

And if that wasn't enough, I decided to stop by Target before bed. I really needed to pick up some ointment for my breasts, but I totally forgot while I was there. I guess I'll have to make another trip. We did make it to the make up aisle though and were overwhelmed by the eye liner options. We settled on 2 to start with and see if she preferred one type over the other. We also picked up a mascara of her own. Logan was sucked in by the Axe shampoo and was even willing to pay for 1/2 the cost (since he really didn't need shampoo). He also found a possible birthday shirt. He's still hoping for a DC shirt, but would be happy with this one if I can't find a DC shirt by his birthday. We always do a new shirt or outfit for the birthday. One year I didn't buy him one because I didn't think it really mattered to him. The morning of his birthday he asked me "where's my new shirt?" He was so sad and I felt so bad that I didn't realize that it had mattered to him. Ciera always speaks up and asks about it weeks before her birthday, Logan just assumed I would get him one. You can bet I was at Target as soon as they opened to get him a new shirt and I haven't forgotten since.

When we got home Ciera spent the rest of the evening trying out the eyeliner and trying to decide which one to wear today.

If it wasn't for the fact that I really need to nap during the day I think I would be going a little stir crazy. As it is I'm trying to talk myself out of going to Sam's Club this week. This is the biggest reason I stopped taking the Ibuprofen. I really need to feel a little bit of discomfort to keep me from doing crazy stuff that I have no business doing yet, like washing all of the curtains or painting bedrooms.

It will feel good to get back into the swing of 'doing stuff', but until then I feel like I'm in a bit of limbo. I no longer have to take it easy to help the babies grow, but I do still have to take it easy for myself. It's much harder to do it for myself.

I've been reluctant to blog about this because I feel like such a horrible person, but we got rid of Teddy over the weekend. Teddy was my grandpa's13 year old dog and we took him when my grandpa passed away last December. It wasn't too bad for most of the first year. Our puppy Scamp loved playing with him and it seemed like it would work out fine. The last few months though he'd really been getting to all of us and he never really warmed up to the kids. He was just a grumpy old dog that kept our puppy happy. He never really grew on us either and we were all starting to 'be over him' and felt bad about not really liking him. I finally told my mom I didn't know what to do, that he's driving us crazy. It turned out my aunt is now living in a place where she could have him and loved the idea of taking him. She came and got him that night. We have not really missed him at all, but poor Scamp was clearly missing him the first few days. He's doing better now, but definitely needs more attention now. The kids have done a good job playing with him more though, so hopefully it will all be OK. There, it's out. We are insensitive pet owners.

My milk production continues to go up each day (48 oz yesterday) and my weight continues to go down (37 lbs now). I just need to find a way to control the overwhelming desire for chocolate in the afternoon. I am eating my oatmeal and drinking my water, so I'm hoping that makes up for the chocolate.

I want my heaters back!

2009-03-02T20:09:00.000-08:00

Our house is the same temperature that has been comfortable to me all winter, but I've been freezing the last few days! I tried to add an extra blanket (actually just using the one Brian had been using and I'd been kicking off all winter) but found the weight too much for my still sensitive, swollen feet. Perhaps we'll have to turn the heater up like normal people.

The good news is I can now reach my own feet to rub them with lotion and I'm loving it. I've also found rubbing my calves is just as gratifying. I didn't realize they were swollen as well. I also found a way to finally view my incision. I then spend the next 30 minutes pulling off the little adhesive strips so I could get a better look at it. Dr. Chu did a scar revision and I was curious how it looked.

I got to see an updated picture of V&B at 1 week old and was amazed at how much they have changed already! Tears sprang to my eyes and my breasts immediately started to leak-about an hour early. They are going to be beautiful children and I will be speechless when I see them in April.

Today went well and I even made an extra trip to school to bring Logan Motrin for his sore jaw that resulted from chewing an entire package of sugar gum this weekend. I think he has learned his lesson though.

We also got to have a wonderful home cooked meal without having to cook anything. My SIL sent over Chicken Parmigiana and even included the pasta. It was delicious and was a great way to welcome chicken back into my life.

I think we're looking at another increase in production today as well. I believe I averaged around 40oz a day last time I pumped, so I am really hoping that the hospital grade pump allows me to be more productive. I'm pretty pleased with 40+ oz at 1 week PP.

7 days PP

2009-03-01T21:13:00.000-08:00

I can hardly believe it's really been a week since the birth. I am feeling pretty darn good. I took my last Vicodin Saturday afternoon and have been just fine with the ibuprofen. All systems seem to be in working order, moving correctly and leveling off. The swelling has finally started to really go down as well as the numbers on the scale-28 lbs so far (although the number we have to lose is so big I won't even mention it). In general I'm a pretty slow loser, so once we get rid of the swelling I don't expect to see the numbers drop so fast.

Pumping is really starting to feel successful. I've kept a chart this time to help remind me of when to take meds and when to pump. I'm only getting about 2 oz at a time from each side, but that's so much better than 1/2 oz. I should see about a 8 oz increase today (almost 40 oz).

I took a test drive tonight with Brian to make sure that I physically felt ok to drive tomorrow. Apparently I didn't turn at the angle Brian would've liked at the stop sign, but other than that I had no physical discomfort. I will still take this next week easy-I won't clean the house myself and I'll have the kids take the clothes out of the dryer, but it will feel good to take the kids to and from school. This is a task that I love just as much as laundry. It just doesn't feel right to ME for someone else to take the kids to school. I could never be part of a car pool. Weird, I know.

I'm very surprised to have not had a big emotional crying breakdown yet. I will admit to beating myself up a bit emotionally though. I thought that I had planned everything so well that my I wouldn't be letting my kids down in any way by being pregnant/delivering. The situation with Ciera wanting eye liner this week really threw me. First of all I wasn't ready for her to wear makeup to school. Secondly, I couldn't take her and have a big 'make up trip'. I couldn't even do a small Target trip. Now I do recognize that I'm the one that made a big deal about it, she didn't and really in a few weeks I'm sure it won't seem like a big deal.

But on the flip side, I felt just as cheated because the kids didn't need me and were able to get through the week just fine. They still got their school work done, they still ate and they still had things to do. Nobody wanted to come hang out in bed with me. Nobody asked to play a game or watch a movie. They were busy all on their own, which is what I 'technically' wanted but it still stung a bit. Again, I know these are silly feelings and they will pass soon as well. It's hard to see your kids grow up, but yet that is what every day of parenting is leading up to.

Just to prove how silly I've emotionally reacted, I'm pretty sure my dog has been snubbing me since I returned home from the hospital. He took a nap with me virtually every day while pregnant and since I've been home I can't even get him to come close enough to pet. Today was the first day that I was able to get any attention from him. It's as though the darn dog was angry with me for deserting him for 3 days. Brian says they gave the dog plenty of attention and that he hasn't seen evidence of the dog snubbing me, but irrational, hormonal me is pretty certain it happened.

With all of my preparations for recovery time, I somehow forgot that I would need to eat and that my husband would need to be able to prepare it for me. Fortunately I'm not half as hungry as I used to be, although I do still need to eat. I'll admit to being pretty picky and absolutely not interested in fast food at all. I've had quite a few sandwiches though and enjoyed them very much. I'd stopped eating deli meat for most of the pregnancy and it was almost a treat to eat a sandwich each day. I had really wanted a chicken salad sandwich one day and Brian was going to the store, so he was going to pick it up. He somehow forgot about my craving and returned home without the chicken salad. We tried a tuna sandwich with bar-b-cue chips to mask the non-chicken flavor, but it just wasn't the same. One meal mix up for the week wasn't too bad though.

Looking ahead, there's not much happening this week. Logan has his last basketball game on Saturday and Ciera has her first softball game next Tuesday. I should be feeling really good by then and the pumping schedule should be established enough that I don't leak all over.

Happy March!

My families week in review

2009-02-28T15:08:00.000-08:00

With all of the excitement of the birth I neglected to put down family memories.

Sunday while V&B were being born, Logan had his final indoor soccer game. I had really hoped to make it since I'd missed the game the week before, but I couldn't get the dr to agree to a C-section in the evening after the game. I don't even know if the boys won or not, but Logan scored a GOAL!! He also had 2 other attempts that were just a little too high, but that he's just as proud of. Ending the season with a goal has allowed Logan to not entirely write soccer off just yet. He's not committing to fall soccer, but he's agreed to wait until sign-ups to decide.

Ciera had softball practice and then got to have lunch and go shopping with a friend on Sunday. She had a great time and came home with leftovers too. Brian and the kids rented a few movies and seemed to do just fine without me.

On Monday Logan got his Johnny Tremain report back. He was so excited to have received an 'A'. He even brought with him to the hospital to show me. I'm just thrilled that he got it done on time and learned another method of tracking his thoughts for a report. It's also nice to see all of his effort and dedication to the project paid off in the end.

The rest of the week was just a regular week. Ciera has finally hit a wall with her school work and has required us to step back in a little to monitor her. She's not pleased about us 'butting back in', but her weekly grade reports are showing us that she's not applying herself quite right. Her excuse is that she's still doing better than the other kids in her class, but that doesn't quite cut it for me. She's having a tough time dealing with the fact that expectations are different for her because she's capable of more. I'm hoping to be back on track by next week's grade report. On the plus side, she's doing very well socially at school and her twosome has grown to include a few other girls. Just a month ago she was complaining about a new student wearing too much make up and now she's decided that maybe a little bit of black eyeliner might be OK. She did go to school on Friday with a little bit of black shadow rimming her lid. First it was skinny jeans, then make up, by the end of the year will there be talk of a boy? My baby is growing up!

Logan stayed home from school on Friday with a sick belly. He slept most of the morning and took the rest of the afternoon easy. His class has been learning to finger crochet and have moved on to making 'things' and using hooks. He finally asked for a hook of his own and he spent the afternoon using it. I never thought he'd crochet or that he would choose to sit quietly and do anything that required fine motor skills aside from video games.

Today Logan had another basketball game and I was determined to be there for it. I actually did just fine and enjoyed seeing him play. He has become so much more aggressive since the season started. He scored a few baskets (depending on who you ask-I saw 1 basket, he says he made 3) and a few free throws. The rest of today was spent playing video games with Brian (a reactivated hobby since he's been home caring for me), getting caught up with homework and maybe a movie tonight.

As for me, I'm really doing quite well. I still haven't become weepy/emotional but I am apparently a little short tempered and 'over concerned with the little details' at home. The pumping has gotten better each day and I'm not feeling sore or sucked to death. Wednesday I got 2 oz for the entire day. Thursday it increased to 7 oz, but by Friday I was up to 21 oz for the entire day. Things are looking like they will be increased today as well.

I'm slowly backing off the meds as well. I realized I was feeling SO good I was feeling tempted to do more than I should so I cut back on my Vicodin and intend to be entirely off of it by Monday morning (which shouldn't be too tough since I'm almost out of them).

I seem to have had a bit of a reaction to the adhesive that was used. After a bit of hydro cortisone and some patience it seems to be healing finally. It is no longer itchy or bright red. My swelling is also still slowly getting better. I still can't wear my shoes, but they are much more 'foot' looking. The rest of my body swelling is also slowly receding, although I'm starting to lose my patience with it.

Delivery and hospital stay-the long version

2009-02-27T14:25:00.000-08:00

WARNING: This is going to be lengthy and probably contain more information than you really wanted to know. Please try to make it through though, as there are many wonderful moments to share.

Saturday! We all knew the worst case scenario after collecting my urine for 24 hours was that I'd be admitted and have an immediate c-section. However, we were all feeling optimistic. I wasn't feeling bad and had no real symptoms of pre-eclampsia. STE & S were packed and ready for a flight if needed, unfortunately there were not a lot of flight options over the weekend. The last flight out was before I was to even return to the hospital. And the earliest flight the next day wouldn't put them to the hospital until around 11am.

I went in around 8pm Saturday night and got hooked up to the monitors. The babies still looked good, my initial urine dip only showed trace protein and my blood pressure was down and remained in a good range while being monitored for 2 hours. My weight was up 2-3 lbs since the day before, but no one seemed concerned about it. My cervix was still entirely closed and I had only 2 contractions right at the end of my monitoring.

I could hear the nurses talking about my situation and everything continued to remain really positive. Even my exam by the resident doctor led me to believe we were in the clear. I even sent STE a text telling her things looked great and I should be leaving soon.

Then Dr. Chu entered my room. Dr. Chu was the on call doctor for the weekend and had been the doctor to order the 24 hour urine collection the day before. He had gotten the results of my 24 hour collection and he was not pleased. Apparently the urine collection is the most accurate way to diagnose pre-eclampsia and my creatine levels were not good. Also he was not happy about my platelet levels. Friday they had been 210 and Saturday they were down to 180. If they fell below 100 I would have to be put under with general anesthesia rather than a spinal.

Our situation had already been noted in my file, so Dr. Chu was aware that I was hoping for a VBAC and hoping to hold off on delivery until Sunday around noon. Dr. Chu struck me as a very conservative doctor and he really wasn't comfortable doing a trial of labor with my cervix being entirely closed. He really would've preferred to just do an immediate c-section but conceded that we were not at a critical stage, YET. I offered to be monitored in any way necessary and to do anything to try to hold off until the next day, without putting my health in jeopardy.

They moved me into a labor and delivery suite with my own nurse for the night. I agreed to constant fetal monitoring and a continuous supply of mag to control my blood pressure. I spent the evening with a blood pressure cuff, fetal monitors and no food or drink. The last food or drink I'd had was at 7:00 pm on Saturday night, and it was only a bowl of Lucky Charms. They did concede and allow me to 'swish' my mouth with water and then spit it out. I was SO thankful for that concession.

Now, I've heard plenty of stories about how horrible the mag can be. The worst side effect of the mag for me was the hot flashes. They kept my room nice and cool though and my nurse was really wonderful. When I learned I was being admitted I called in Melissa to stay with me and as support in case we had to proceed with a c-section before STE & S could arrive. Brian and the kids had a full day of softball and soccer on Sunday and I knew I'd be OK without him. It had always been our plan for him to be with the kids and I would rely on hospital staff.

By midnight I had begun to contract pretty good. The contractions felt much different from the pitocin induced contractions I'd had with my kids. Mag is also what they use to help stop contractions, so nobody really expected that my contractions would be really effective. They were however becoming increasingly uncomfortable. At some point in the night I received a VERY effective dose of fentanyl. I was immediately able to get some rest. The babies responded appropriately and became more active again as the dose wore off. There were periods of intense contractions and then hours of virtually none.

The weather Sunday morning was not real cooperative. Their initial flight was cancelled, but they were able to get another flight just 30 minutes later. The earliest flight was into San Francisco and then they were going to drive up to Sacramento. It was very rainy, but they made great time. To be fair, I don't believe they got much sleep Saturday night either.

It was such a relief to see them walk through the door. All night I'd been mentally trying to prepare for them not being there and what to do for the babies. Now I didn't have to worry anymore. All decisions would now be up to mom and dad and I just had to 'get through surgery and recover'. It's amazing just how 'real' everything was suddenly becoming. These babies were going to be born within a matter of hours!

Things had gotten pretty busy at the hospital so we had to wait some once STE & S arrived. Within an hour Mom and Dad suited up and we all walked to the operating room. I'd been in bed for over 16 hours with monitors, so I was thankful for the chance to walk a bit before surgery. Mom and Dad were seated outside the OR to wait for me to be ready. We were told it'd be about 30 minutes. At this point we all thought the worst was behind us and the babies would be here soon. I was not nervous about the surgery, but very anxious to see these babies meet their parents.

The head anesthesiologist agreed to let both STE & S into the room. They had every right to only allow person and I am very grateful that they were both able to be there. They had both been there for the birth of P & L and it was only right that they should both be there this time. It was finally time to get things started, only they weren't getting started very smoothly. It took 4-5 tries to get the spinal in a good location. By the time they finally got it where it needed to be I was almost ready to agree to general anesthesia and forgo seeing STE & S meet their babies for the first time. If it hadn't been for the fact that the anesthesiologist said general anesthesia wasn't good for the babies I would've let them do it. It was VERY hard to bend at the angle he wanted for the length of time that was necessary. When we did it with P&L it was a piece of cake and silly me I was expecting it to be easy again. This was the 'head' guy, so it's not like he's never done this before. He admitted that it was one of the toughest times he's ever had (yeah me!).

After almost an hour (rather than 30 minutes) I'm finally on the table, numbed up, getting shaved and a catheter. I immediately start to feel like I need to throw up and that was OK with them. I remember asking "HOW" I was supposed to do that. She told me to just turn my head, that it'd be fine. It seemed odd to me that it would be OK for me to just puke on the operating room floor. They gave me something that quickly took away the nausea and I was fine. They went to put an oxygen mask on my nose and I thought I was going to suffocate. I'm not generally a claustrophobic person, but I could not handle the mask. They put a nose piece in instead and things were much better.

It was finally time to bring in STE & S. It was such a relief for them to be there. It gave me something to focus on and I knew we were FINALLY getting started. Plus STE does a great job of narrating the entire operation for me. I found it comforting with P&L to know what exactly they were doing as it happened. I just love hearing the awe in her voice as she narrates the action. Dr. Chu had agreed to repair my previous scar, so it took a bit longer than P & L's c-section, plus he's just so cautious and methodical about everything he does. Finally I could hear the change in STE's voice and I knew she must be seconds away from meeting her daughter. At 2:06 pm Baby A- "V" came out crying. She was then taken just outside of the OR to be checked and cleaned up. Mom and dad had already agreed that they would both stay to see both babies born. I'm not sure what the hold up was, but at 2:10 with a lot of tugging and twisting, Baby B- "B" was quickly rushed out of the OR. As he left the room he finally cried, but it was a bit scary how quickly he was taken out of the OR. I've been told he didn't stop crying for nearly an hour! It was so reassuring to hear his hearty lungs though. Both babies received an 8 and a 9 on their apgars and neither baby required a NICU visit!!

V weighed in at a whopping 6lbs 5 oz and was the longest and heaviest of the 4 children. B weighed in at 6lbs even and was the shortest of all 4 children (but not by much). It turns out their wasn't really a big size discrepancy between the two of them after all. When the babies were cleaned up STE came back into the OR with the babies co-swaddled so I could see them. I was not really able to see much of the babies' faces due to my position, but the look on STE's face was all I needed! She was in love, again and she would now do everything for those babies.

The anesthesiologist took over narrating for me as they closed me up. I let myself 'drift away' and rest for the remainder of the procedure. It took much longer to close me up this time and I don't really know why. I 'think' it's because Dr. Chu preferred to use stitches rather than staples and I think he was just very meticulous. I guess when I can finally see the scar I'll be thankful. They did 'redose' me twice as I was starting to feel 'something' a few times. This resulted in me being VERY out for the rest of the afternoon.

They wheeled me out to recovery where I let myself just sleep and not worry about anything. I came to a few times, but I don't remember much about that time period. S did come in to see me and gave me the scoop on the babies. It was then that I was reassured of their weights and that neither of them required NICU time. He said STE had been able to nurse them both as she had desired and they were just getting ready to be given a room. Our delivery nurse had acquired a double room for us to share, just like with P & L, although this time we didn't have to wait through a day in a tiny room first. By 6:30 I was finally ready to be wheeled into the room as well. They had been waiting for me to get some feeling back in my legs so I could help 'scoot' from one bed to the other. I was just barely able to help after 4 hours of recovery-I'm thinking I must've gotten a few good doses in my spinal.

Brian and the kids had been planning to come down to visit Sunday night, but I thought it made more sense to wait until Monday after school. I wasn't going to be able to move really Sunday night and the kids had school on Monday. So Sunday night it was just the 5 of us. I wish I could remember many details about the evening, but all I recall is a liquid dinner (with liquid restrictions) and being amazed at how easy STE makes caring for twins look. I'm sure we visited and laughed, but Sunday night is really sketchy in my mind.

The doctor wanted me to stay on the mag for 24 hours after the birth, so I also had to stay on the morphine and keep my catheter. My liquids were also restricted. I was allowed 1 cup of ice every 3 hours, but you can bet I asked for my ice at 3 hours on the dot. I was assured that at 2am my nurse would get me up from bed and let me 'dangle' my legs, but that I wouldn't be allowed up to walk until the following morning. I was very concerned about getting moving quickly this time. With P&L I was in bed for over 24 hours and walking and removing my catheter was the worst part of my recovery. This time it was MUCH easier and I felt a little silly for even worrying about it so much.

I'm not even going to get into the nursing situation other than to say, the delivery nurses were FAR more attentive than the recovery nurses. I believe the babies received good care though, and that's what really matters.

Monday afternoon they took me off the mag and I got to have real food and unlimited liquids for the remainder of my stay. Brian and the kids came to visit in the afternoon. Before the delivery we had all talked about the kids not having to come to the hospital if they didn't want to, that I wouldn't be upset and they'd get to see the babies before they left somehow. So I was very surprised to hear that they both chose to come see me. They looked at the babies, but neither of them really wanted to hold them. The fact that my kids aren't real 'baby people' is part of what makes it OK for me to do a surrogacy. Neither one of them regretted not holding the babies either. They told me about their day at school, as if we always get together at the hospital. They compared things in the room to the room we were in 2 years ago and although they didn't interact much, they were much more comfortable visiting this time.

We ended our second day with a visit from Melissa and Tara. I was feeling pretty good at this point. I'd been taken off the morphine and was put on Vicodin and Motrin. I was also able to move around fairly well. I was no speed racer, but I was moving.

Tuesday morning at 3:30/4, was my absolute low point. I awoke suddenly from a dream and I 'forgot' that things hurt. I had to go to the bathroom VERY badly and I was due for my Vicodin at 4 am. The nurse had not brought me a 2am dose of Motrin. My knee was also very stiff. It hurt so bad to get out of bed and to the bathroom on my own, plus the sink was on the other side of the room. I finally got finished and back in bed by 4. The nurse had assured me she'd bring me my Vicodin at 4. By 4:10 I'd had it and paged her. Apparently she did not hurt as badly as I did. by 5 I was feeling much better when my dr came in to check on me, but that 1 hour was the worst hour of the entire stay! I so surprised to hear my doctor tell me that I could go home if I wanted or I could stay for another day. The part of me that wanted to control when I got my medications wanted to check out immediately, but the realist knew that I might not physically be ready and I should wait until later in the day to make any decisions. Plus, we didn't know if the babies would be discharged or not yet. Obviously if they needed to stay another night than so would I, but the idea of staying without them didn't hold a whole lot of appeal (especially if I was going to get a new roommate).

I can't quite remember when it was said or to whom, but I recall S saying to someone that we would all leave together. "That we were a team." Now, I very much wanted them to be able to get home to P&L as quickly as possible, but to hear S say this was so special and heart warming-although entirely unnecessary. I knew I would have to work hard to convince them to leave before me, so I was pleased to know that the hospital was willing to discharge me if I wanted.

Tuesday I finally braved a shower. S had been thoughtful enough to pick up soft towels from Target that were big enough to dry off with (the hospital towels were tiny and thin). The shower was much easier than I expected and I felt so good afterwards.

We were waiting on a few test results for the babies before they could be discharged. They were concerned about B's weight loss and the possibility of jaundice in both of them. STE had already booked a follow-up appointment with her pediatrician back home for Wednesday morning for continuity of care in the event that they were discharged. Both babies were doing quite well with nursing, V better than B, but even B wasn't really struggling.

The lactation consultant came back to see us for the second time on Tuesday. This was the same woman that helped STE when P&L were born and it was really neat to see some of the same faces and for them to remember who we were. She was so thrilled to hear how wonderfully STE had done nursing P&L and she was so supportive of her efforts. I then got to speak with her about pumping. By Tuesday I was feeling very distraught about my ability to pump. I knew we were getting off on the wrong foot with the Mag and the restricted liquids. I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to get a supply going at all. I wanted to know what I 'really' needed to do to be successful. She assured me that with effort I'd be fine and that I really only needed to pump every 2 1/2 hours and that 15 minutes was more than sufficient. She explained a lot of things to me and gave me confidence that my milk would come in, eventually. By Tuesday I wasn't even getting enough colostrum to put in a syringe for the babies, so I had been really worried. She helped me to decide that a hospital grade pump would be the most effective way of gaining and maintaining a supply and would be worth the extra cost. She said my PISA would work just fine once I was established, but that a month on the Symphony would be the best bet.

The babies have other milk donors and I know I could help them find more milk if needed, but the thought of not being able to pump for them was very disappointing. What good was making it to 37 weeks if I couldn't even give them colostrum? Emotionally I could've really spun out of control without the reassurance I received from the lactation consultant. And for those that don't know, none of the pumping pressure comes from STE or S, it's all self-inflicted. I'm never really happy with a good outcome and always will wonder if I could've done better.

I finally gave the go ahead for visitors on Monday night, and I realize that I didn't leave much time before discharge for anyone to come visit. I really wanted to feel 'settled' before anyone came. Brian's family was very patient about waiting for me to be ready. I wanted to feel stable and I wanted to know that the babies were stable as well. When P&L were born, no one really got to see them, as they weren't stable right away, P was in the NICU and we really didn't have a room. Within hours of getting the go ahead, Brian's parents came to visit. I think it was really nice for them to get some time seeing "WHY" I chose to be a part of this family. It's been a while since we had little babies around, and I think my MIL really enjoyed holding V&B. Then my SIL and nephews came down with Brian. My nephews LOVE babies and really seemed to enjoy holding V&B. My SIL is very much a baby person and immediately jumped in to help and hold the babes.

While we had visitors the babies received their walking papers. My SIL was very helpful in getting everyone ready and out the door. She helped walk them to the car and it was really nice to have an extra pair of hands at that time. Of course there were the tears and hugs as we all parted, but I'm going to gloss right over all of that and skip to the two things that were done that surprised and touched me deeply. A few minutes after everyone had left I received a phone call from STE to let me know they were on the road and to make sure I was really OK with them leaving. A few minutes after that my SIL returned to my room. Apparently she had been asked to check on me just to make sure I was really OK. These are the sort of thoughtful gestures that really show just how much they care about me and my emotional well being.

After P&L were born I had been really caught off guard by these types of gestures. I really didn't know what to expect at that point and I was really touched by how concerned they were for me at a time in their lives that should've been all about them and the babies. So, I really thought I had prepared myself to not be surprised by their thoughtfulness. It was such a little thing to do, but it meant the world to me.

I'm not surprised this time when STE takes time from her day, each day, to call and touch bases with me, but I am still very thankful. We were all strangers when we first set out to create life together, and there are so many things that could've gone wrong. Brian and I are both so thankful and grateful that we are one of the lucky ones. We've been touched beyond expectation and welcomed into such a wonderful extended family. The only downside is we will never be able to spend as much time with them as we'd like, but we do know that they will be a part of our family forever.

Check back for an emotional outpouring of a post.

4 days PP

2009-02-26T20:38:00.000-08:00

It feels so wrong to post and push pictures of the babies further down the page, but if I don't post I won't have a way to remember how I was feeling after the delivery. Things tend to get pretty blurry and memories fade quickly, even without the sleep exhaustion of caring for a baby or two.

By Wednesday night I was finally starting to see an increase in my pumping. Today I actually had streams of milk. They didn't last long and I will probably only end up with 6-7 oz for the entire day, but it feels so good to see the pumping improve.

I had hoped to get some of the delivery story done today, but I found myself desperately needing to sleep all day. I'd wake up, take my meds, pump and start to drowse off. I'd then wake up and start the process all over throughout the entire day. I've been able to stay up long enough tonight to shower and talk about the kids' day with them. Their lives and needs haven't stopped just because I had surgery. Ciera decided today that she'd like to try some eyeliner, not tomorrow but today. I don't wear much makeup so I may be the only mother in the world that doesn't have eyeliner for her to borrow. I do own mascara, so she was content with some mascara.

I decided yesterday that I was going to wait to start taking the iron supplement that I was prescribed at the hospital. I figured the stool softener had a tough enough job dealing with my pain meds without having to deal with an iron supplement. I'm pleased beyond words that the stool softener was able to do it's job.

My swelling is starting to go down a bit as well. Not enough that the average person could tell, but I can feel a slight difference when I walk and in my feet, I almost have feeling back in them.

It's still quite uncomfortable to laugh or cough, but I can now take deep breaths and bend some. My greatest challenge is still just getting up and out of bed.

Emotionally I still haven't hit the emotional slam that I'm sure will come. It's not about being sad, but I fully expect to be hit with a blast of emotions. I'm a little crabby and overly sensitive, but I haven't teared up about anything today, perhaps it's because I slept all day.

The introductions...

2009-02-26T17:01:00.001-08:00

We're home! After a long, tiring, but uneventful trip, we pulled into our house at around 11pm on Tuesday night. The introductions didn't actually happen until about 7am the following morning, but were worth the wait. The older twins, fully prepped that new babies were coming, were not at all surprised to hear little meowing coming from our bedroom on Wednesday morning. What we didn't expect, was the argument about the names! Apparently they don't like the names we've picked out for them - they're going with Sandy (as in from the musical Annie) for the both of them. Every day we try to reeducate P&L on the proper names for B&V, but "Sandy" is the one that sticks. It's rather funny. At some point we hope they'll differentiate between the two babies, but for now, I guess we know what they mean. For the most part, they've been gentle and sweet to the new babies- kissing them all the time, and coming to get us when they cry. We really couldn't have asked for a better transition.

Look closely at this picture. All four of these children came into our lives because of Cyn! We feel incredibly blessed, and are filled with gratitude for her and her family.

Wednesday-Everyone is home now!

2009-02-25T09:08:00.000-08:00

Thank you all for sharing in this experience with us. We all got released on Tuesday afternoon after asking to be released. Everyone was doing fine and we were all eager to get home.

The growing family got the word at 2 that the babies and their bili rubin levels were stable and they were cleared to book a flight home. By 3:30 they were all packed up and ready to get home to P & L. They had to drive to San Francisco to catch their flight, but the babies (V & B) slept the whole way and did fantastic! The airport was incredibly helpful getting them onto their flight (S's body is healing from his accident, but he only had minimal use of his hands). They arrived home safely and are looking forward to introducing everyone Wednesday morning. I can only imagine what a special day it will be in their house-just like Christmas, only better!

As for me, I was told Tuesday morning that I could be discharged if I wanted or I could stay another day. At 5 am I was not ready to make that decision. By 2, I'd had a shower and had been moving around all day and felt I'd be OK to be released. I figured I may need a little assistance from hubby for a day or two, but that we'd be OK.

I know I'm jumping ahead here, but I will go back and record the whole process by the end of the week. Each day had it's own challenges and joys and I will try to sort through the memories clearly.

Brian picked the kids up from school, rented the hospital grade pump for me and came back to pick me up by 5. We picked up Subway for dinner, dropped by Target for my meds and were home with my kiddos by 6:30. I crawled into my bed and was instantly relieved to be in my comfy bed. I pumped and fell fast asleep. I woke up in time for bedtime snuggles and then it was time for bed again.

I'm actually doing really good for 2-3 days post c-section. I learned A LOT after the first c-section recovery and I applied all of the lessons. I got moving as soon as they would allow me and I've stayed on top of my pain meds. I'm still quite gassy, and very swollen, but I'm moving around pretty good (although cautious to not over do anything). Getting out of the bed requires a little bit of assistance (especially at my 4 am vicodin dose) and I'm a little stiff after I've been lying down, but I feel pretty good.

Emotionally I'm doing well. I was very touched by everyone's support and well wishes and I'm sure I'll cry when I see the 'family introduction' video, but I'm just so thankful to have been a part of something so amazing and with such a wonderful family. Nothing they do surprises me anymore, they are just so thoughtful and considerate of my feelings. At a time in their lives when everything should be all about them, they always think to check in on me and take my feelings into consideration.

There's so much to say and share and I find myself rambling in circles. Brian is home with me for the rest of the week, I've got a strict pumping and medication schedule and I intend to rest as much as possible as well. I'll stop rambling now and start at the beginning (Saturday night) soon.

They're here!

2009-02-22T22:08:00.001-08:00

Girl was born at 2:06pm today, weighs 6lbs 5 oz and is 19 inches long. Boy followed at 2:10 and weighs 6lbs even and is 18 inches long. Both are doing well. Cynthia was awesome, and suffered through some pretty nasty medication in order for use to make it to the delivery. We're feeling incredibly grateful and blessed right now...but have to run, someone wants to be fed!

Interim Post

2009-02-22T21:27:00.000-08:00

This is Brian posting (unauthorized) for Cyn. The babies are here, and they are both north of 6lbs and healthy (no NICU). Cyn is in recovery and is fine. Congratulations to S&S. I don't know the rules for writing names and whatnot, so I'll leave that for Cyn to post later.

The babies are coming!

2009-02-22T10:14:00.000-08:00

Hi. This is Cyn's SIL posting a message for her. She is currently at the hospital, awaiting a c-section around noon. I will try to give you as much info as she gave me... hopefully I wrote it down right. LOL

Last night her blood pressure was down and her dipped urine was alright. She really thought she was walking out to go home. Then the doctor came with the results of the 24 hour urine which weren't good and that her platelet count had dropped. She got the doctor to compromise and wait until today to do the c-section to give STE & S time to get here. She is being closely monitored and her platelet levels have gone up a bit since last night. Cyn started having contractions during the night, so they did give her some "nice drugs" but it is still not very comfortable.

In addition, she hasn't been allowed to eat or drink since 7 p.m. last night. It was a long night and she sounds a bit tired, but in good spirits.

I know everyone's prayers are with her as she brings these babies into the world.

Someone will update once the babies arrive.

Saturday 37 weeks 2 days

2009-02-21T13:35:00.000-08:00

I slept pretty good again last night, especially considering I was up to go potty every hour and had to actually 'function' while doing it. I woke up around 9 for breakfast and headed back to bed for a morning nap. I'm just finally up now at 1pm and feel pretty good. I took a hot shower to clear the nap cobwebs and everything feels good. I am hopeful for tonight's answers.

My health is top priority for everyone, but I can still have a 'dream outcome'. No worries, what will be will be.

Monitoring update

2009-02-20T18:03:00.000-08:00

First of all, I slept great last night. Poor Brian, I do believe I took my half out of the middle of the bed. I somehow smacked him in the face twice! Brian was off again today for his second Furlough Friday, so I thought we'd 'test out' him getting the kids up and ready. After 2 snoozes on the alarm at 6am I asked him to please go get Ciera up (he usually does this before leaving for work). By 7:20 when it was clear that he wasn't getting up to get Logan showered I got up to do it (I was starving anyhow). So I continued to move Logan along and Brian finally woke to take them to school.

I decided to go back to bed. I slept quite peacefully until 11 and decided it was time to get to the hospital for my non-stress test (which was basically just monitoring the baby's heart rates and me for contractions). I made sure to eat a hearty lunch on the way down and had a MUCH better experience this week, at least emotionally.

The good news is that the babies look GREAT!! Their heart rates were great and their amniotic fluid levels are still great. And surprise, surprise, little boy has changed positions again! The bad news is that my blood pressure is still up (around 137/94) and higher than yesterday and I'm still spilling protein into my urine (+1 if that means anything to anyone). They drew blood and my labs came back OK, not great, but not super worrisome. They did however darn near insist on get a urine sample with a catheter to be able to really judge the number. The catheter insertion and removal was one of the worst parts of my previous c-section, so I only wanted to do this as a last resort. It ended up being much gentler and hardly a discomfort, thank goodness!

After 4 hours in the labor & delivery triage room they sent me home to collect my urine for 24 hours. This is one of the best ways to test/monitor for toxemia or pre-eclampsia. I am then to get monitored tomorrow night. Best case scenario, my blood pressure is lower and they are happy with my urine. Then I get to come home and return in 2 days for more monitoring. The absolute worst case scenario is that everything looks SO bad that we IMMEDIATELY to an emergency c-section and we can't wait for STE and S to get into town on the first flight. Now, it's entirely possible that they won't really like the numbers and will still do a c-section, but we'll have the luxury of waiting a few hours for STE & S to fly in Sunday morning.

I'm not really expecting the blood pressure to be lower, I'm just hoping that 24 hours worth of urine looks better to them. I'm not having headaches, spotted vision or any other symptoms of pre-eclampsia, so I'm hopeful that we can at least hold off until Sunday morning (although of course I'm OK with next week too). I understand that pre-eclampsia is not something to mess around with, so I will absolutely pay attention for any developing symptoms and won't put my health in jeopardy either.

They did check my cervix again and it's still totally closed, which is great if my blood pressure and urine cooperate. Unfortunately, it being closed is not conducive to an induction, so we would have to go the c-section route should they decide the babies need to be born. I won't be devastated if we need a c-section, I just don't want one for no real reason.

So for now, I take it easy and monitor any changes in how I'm feeling. We have NOTHING on the calendar for tomorrow as Logan has a Bye for basketball, so it should be a fairly easy day to just relax through. Logan has birthday party to go to on Saturday night, so Ciera and Brian will have an evening together while I hang out at the hospital (with my snacks and a new book).

I should be able to update by Sunday morning if they send me home. If there's no update, than we will have delivered late Saturday night or Sunday morning.

Collage comparisons 36 weeks 6 days

2009-02-19T18:36:00.000-08:00

These 4 pictures are from P & L's pregnancy in 2006 at 36 weeks 6 days.

The bottom 4 pictures are from this current pregnancy in 2009 at 36 weeks 6 days.

36 weeks 6 days belly pictures-then & now

2009-02-19T18:34:00.000-08:00

36 weeks 6 days in 2006 on the left
36 weeks 6 days in 2009 on the right

Good news and bad news from the OB

2009-02-19T11:54:00.001-08:00

I just got back from my 37 week OB appointment. The good news is the babies are still in position and look fine. The bad news is my blood pressure is jumping around and I had protein in my urine. Oh yeah, and I'm GBS positive (I just have to have at least 4 hours of antibiotics before A comes out).

We're still set for a VBAC and Dr. E is comfortable with an induction if need be as well, rather than just going straight to a c-section. He feels contractions are contractions and he'd honestly prefer that I'm hooked up to monitors from the beginning rather than contracting on my own at home. If I'm being monitored the entire time, they'll know if something starts to go wrong-before my uterus ruptures. So we'll have an induction by March 2 at the latest.

It's a great plan in theory. However, due to the blood pressure and urine results I will go tomorrow for my first NST (non-stress test). This is a common test that most women pregnant with multiples begin doing regularly around 28 weeks. I've never had to do one though. I don't really know what to expect other than to pack myself some 'just in case' emergency food and to eat a good meal before I go in (lesson learned from last week). If everything looks good there than we just continue to wait, if things don't look too good than we look at inducing sooner. So while I have some answers and I have just as many new questions.

S also gets his cast off tomorrow and hopefully he won't need more surgery. Hopefully he's got super healing bones and will actually be able to hold his babies whenever they happen to be born. I know the babies will be fine at this point, regardless of when they are delivered. But it sure would be nice if dad could hold his babies too.

I'm technically now on bed rest, although having to go for NST's twice a week means I actually have to do more each week than I typically do. I've all but given up cooking dinner now anyhow. Unfortunately nothing much sounds good to me other than Lucky Charms (which I normally don't even like). We as a family have eaten 3 boxes since Sunday (I think it's mostly me though)! Does a mass amount of Lucky Charms raise ones blood pressure?

I measured myself this morning and holy toledo! The belly absolutely has gotten bigger, it's not just my imagination. I'll have to get a picture of it too. So that's it, we at least make it to 37 weeks 1 day and will continue to take it day by day.

37 weeks-Term baby!

2009-02-19T06:02:00.000-08:00

We've officially made it to term!! I have so many conflicted feelings about everything! I am SO dang excited to have made it to 37 weeks and to basically be feeling OK, pregnant but still living. I'm not feeling 'done' and 'ready to just get them out' though. I really do think we can make it another week -10 days. It is so weird for me to think that in less than 2 weeks these babies will be born! I can hardly imagine how it feels for STE & S!

Going into labor? A part of me is terrified at what it will really be like. My OB assures me I can get an epidural as soon as I want, but what if the on call doc doesn't agree with that philosophy? The other part of me is really excited about letting things happen on their own. My water has never broke on it's own and honestly I think that would be kinda cool to experience (I'm sure it's overrated, but I'd still love the experience).

What do we do if we honestly make it to March with no actual signs of labor? What are the choices then? How long will STE really wait for her babies before the anticipation gets to us all? I've definitely come to terms with preferring a vaginal delivery, but what are our options at 39 weeks with twins?

Poor Dr. E has no idea what he's in for today. I have so many what if questions, not to mention the verbal lashing about sending me to L & D with no specific reason.

I have a confession to make as well. I have a daily calendar with each day's plans and every night I cross off another day. Nothing feels me with more joy than when I get to X through another day! Obsessive?

In other news, we found a surrogate with some frozen breast milk and she sent up about 400 oz to STE this week (2 day with no dry ice and it was still frozen solid). When you add that to the stash from another surro (Trisha), the babies have a good supply to get them going until STE's production gets going and mine as well. Having 'starter' milk takes off so much pressure initially and I'm so thankful that we were able to get so much. I'm also quite thankful that STE is so excited about nursing the babes. I've had some hospital pictures of P & L flash up on my screen lately and it still fills me with awe that a woman who couldn't carry her babies was able to so successfully nurse them. One of my favorite pictures is STE nursing both of them at the same time and just beaming!! Induced lactation is amazing!!

Please keep in mind, that even though I know I should I still don't proofread before clicking publish. I have so many thoughts rumbling around in my head, sometimes they don't come out quite right. If you read something that hits you wrong, I probably should've edited it differently.

36 weeks 6 days-Still pregnant!!

2009-02-18T13:57:00.000-08:00

We have now successfully carried these twins longer than P & L. My goal all along was to just make it to 37 weeks, but now with everything going on at home for STE we of course have a new goal-as long as we can!

I'll have to put up comparison pictures tonight. I am at a point where I can feel size changes almost daily. I'm back to running into things with the belly and it REALLY hurts now!

I slept pretty good again last night. I was almost able to fall asleep without needing a snack first. I'm realizing that I'm just going to have hip pain now. There really is no other way to sleep and one hip or the other is going to be slept on for too long-unless I am unable to sleep at some point. I'm really hoping to not reach a point of insomnia though.

I did a little bit of work at school and was back home for an early lunch at 9:30. Thankfully I was able to fall asleep this morning and got a bit of a nap in. I do enjoy the naps.

The body is definitely preparing itself for birth though. I've been very proud of the fact that I don't really 'waddle', but I think I might've waddled today. Everything is just getting a little achier, but not painful yet. It's been almost 10 years since I went into labor on my own, and even then they augmented it with pitocin. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous about it. Being a planner, it's just so hard to wait around and wonder. So I will go back to pushing off my deadlines and just focus on keeping the babes growing inside for at least another week. Part of me feels greedy to keep pushing back my goal date, shouldn't I just be happy with 37 weeks? But 38 weeks would be fabulous too! Ultimately I guess it's not really in my hands. Even if I lie in bed with a bedpan, the babies would still eventually come on their own.

Brian has revised his delivery guess. He's thinking the 27th now. STE has a hair appointment on the 24th and I think she should be safe to still go (2 weeks ago I thought there would be no way she'd make the appointment though). I'm still really holding out for sometime in March. I guess we'll know more after tomorrow's OB appointment. I'm really curious where little boy's head is, as it seems to move all over the place.

It's here!!!

2009-02-17T16:12:00.001-08:00

I finally got my free formula samples in the mail!! And a pre-birth order!!! We are now all set for whenever the babes decide it's time. It's such a relief to have the pre-birth order and know that the hospital also has it by now! I still have every intention of making it to March, but what a relief to have this paper in my hands!

Everyone now has clean sheets and the house is nice and clean (except for the dogs dragging in rain all afternoon). The laundry is all done for at least one more day and the freezer is stocked with easy foods for Brian to cook the kids (none of which I have any desire to eat at all).

It was so tough to get up this morning, for everyone. Having 4 days off will do that to a person, pregnant or not. Last night I was trying to pick up/reorganize a few things and I hit a wall. I was reorganizing a drawer in the bathroom and all of a sudden my legs hurt so bad and I wasn't sure I'd even be able to walk up the stairs to the bed. It was freaky how fast it came on. It is reassuring to know that my body physically won't let me do more than it has to. I took some Tylenol to ease the pain and watched some TV. I just wasn't really feeling sleepy. Around midnight I was incredibly hungry again, so after another snack I went to bed.

I had really expected to sleep all day today. I fell asleep for about an hour and then woke starving. I got some lunch and then some more lunch. I was unable to fall back asleep, but it was nice to lie in the bed anyhow.

It has continued to rain fairly steadily here. This is only an issue at pick up and drop off at school. I will admit I'm not moving very fast and the rain seems to get me pretty wet just in the short trip from the house to the car.

Logan has a friend over for a bit this afternoon and then he has to do some more of his final draft (4 paragraphs actually). Ciera is off pitching with her dad and has some homework to do. She never really has homework so she's very grumbly about it today. It's apparently all my fault. She hasn't said I'm ruining her life yet, but I'm sure it's coming. I have no clue what to do about dinner tonight, but we all have clean sheets! We have all continued to watch American Idol on Tuesday and Wednesday nights, so I'm sure tonight will be no different. I've never watched a season before so I have nothing to compare it to, but the kids seem to really enjoy it. I however get very frustrated with the 'teasers' and the fact that it takes an hour for them to really only show you 15 minutes of footage at the most! I"m pretty sure I holler at the TV during every episode, which only makes it more fun for the kids.

Tomorrow I will go do my 10 minutes of copying. The worst part about continuing to go in and make the copies is that I have to actually get dressed! Ciera would DIE if I went in wearing my pj pants, which is what I tend to wear at home the rest of the week.

I was asked to explain the weekly copies that I continuously mention. My kids are at a Charter Montessori school that requires parent participation (which is no problem, I actually do far less at this school than when we were at the public school). Ciera has 2 teachers and Logan has 1. I told them all at the beginning of the school year that I could only commit to an hour a week up until January and I'd prefer to come in the mornings so that I could nap in the afternoon. Logan's teacher only has me in charge of the snack calendar. Once a month I make up a new calendar, make sure the birthday kids gets to bring snack near their birthday, that everyone gets a fair rotation and get it sent out to the parents each month. One of Ciera's teachers has had me do typing for her, but it's only in bursts and most of the time she doesn't use me. The other teacher is GREAT about delegating and makes great use of the one hour a week I said I could do. I make the math and social studies copies for her. It's really not a problem to keep doing them as it only takes 5-10 minutes and I sit in the rolling chair while I make them. I LOVE making the copies. It would be my 'dream' job except generally you have to deal with customers or phone calls and I don't want to do either of those things. I'm not really a people person, I just love to make copies!

Another Monday down- only 2 more at the most!

2009-02-16T21:13:00.000-08:00

I slept much better last night, once I was able to fall asleep. I was all ready for bed by midnight, but I was suddenly starving-AGAIN! After 2 pieces of toast and a large glass of warm milk, I fell fast asleep. I slept pretty good most of the night. I of course still had to get up numerous times to potty, but I didn't toss all night. I did however wake up with my right hip killing me again. I'm really going to have to stop sleeping on that side.

I do realize that I've complained a lot about sleeping and my hip lately, but honestly I feel pretty good about those being my only complaints. It's not like I'm lying awake all night, I just don't get a sound sleep some nights, but the daytime naps are so good (when everyone is gone).

Everyone slept in this morning and it was basically a low key day. We finished off the last of the lasagna from Brian's mom and the kids finished off the Rye bread that Papa sent us home with. Ciera was invited to see Twilight again with her aunt. After dropping her off, Brian, Logan and I headed to Costco for a final trip before the birth. We were out of dog food, bottled water, bagel dogs and potstickers (all things we'd need before I'm recuperated). Brian doesn't have a Costco membership and I wasn't about to walk through the whole store to get the things we needed (plus the dog food is heavy).

I lucked out and Costco had EXACTLY what I was looking for-March outfits for the babies! I'd been looking online and not finding anything close to what I wanted and there they were just waiting for me at Costco! Brian and Logan had found almost everything on my list before I could even get to and from the bathroom. I'm still able to move, but I'm pretty darn slow!

The belly is becoming very misshapen at the bottom. I didn't actually know a pregnant belly could hang down so low. I also can't believe how much baby B can still move around. On Saturday I felt his hiccups on my right side and this morning his hiccups were coming from my left side. Did he flip again? Baby girl also had the hiccups tonight, but hers are still coming from down low.

Everyone heads back to school and work tomorrow and I get to nap! Logan has a friend coming over after school and that's it for the day. Wednesday Logan has a field trip to the Train Museum. Brian is taking the day off to go with him, as it didn't seem like a good idea for me to walk the train museum at 36 weeks 6 days! Thursday we are 37 weeks and I have an OB appointment. Friday Ciera and Logan both have reports due. So far they are on track to be done.

The gals come to clean tomorrow and I think I'm ready to have them come weekly, if for no other reason than the house has been recently cleaned whenever I happen to go into labor. I hate the idea of coming home from the hospital to a dirty house. I can't tell if I'm starting to 'nest' or if I'm just being practical, but I've suddenly become obsessed with getting clean bedding for everyone.

36 weeks 3 days!

2009-02-15T18:32:00.000-08:00

It's only 6:30, but it feels as if the day is over.

I slept horribly last night. I didn't toss and turn much, but my right hip was killing me again when I woke up. That seems to be what happens if I sleep for too long on my right side. I also woke up fully congested again. I finally got to an interesting point in my book (about 7/8 of the way through) and I dreamt about it all night, making up text and what would happen next. This is not a very good way to get good rest. Plus it was storming pretty bad all night.

I took a nice hot soak for the hip and a hot cup of tea for the congestion. I can only fill my bath tub up far enough to soak my legs, so there's no worry that I'm submerging the belly in super hot water all the time.

I had planned to go to Target today to pick up clearance Valentine candy, but decided since I was physically not feeling great already that it probably wouldn't be smart. Thankfully Brian said he'd take my list and Ciera and pick up the 'important things'.

Brian then took Logan to his soccer game. Ciera's softball practice was scheduled for the same time, so Logan chose for Brian to attend soccer. It was a good weather day to miss. Apparently it was rather wet, windy and cold. Only 7 boys showed up, the exact number they needed to play. That means the only break the boys got was a 2 minute half time. They did lose 0-3, but Brian says Logan played his best game ever. He set up great passes, defended well and was very aggressive and running the whole time. He was beat when he showed up at softball practice.

So I dropped Ciera off at practice and waited in the van until Brian and Logan got there 45 minutes later, just in case Logan didn't want to stay at softball. On rainy days the girls get to practice inside a big warehouse and Logan had a great time playing basketball there with his dad.

I returned home and took a much needed nap. The kids had McDonald's for dinner and Brian and I had leftover lasagna that his mom sent us home with on Friday.

After my soak I've physically felt better the rest of the day. The heartburn today has been brutal though. It took almost a full hour before the Zantac kicked in. The babies are both still quite active and although I'm not doing kick counts I'm pretty sure I'll notice if they decrease their activity. They also both seem to be getting the hiccups fairly often. It's funny, I almost don't notice the hiccups unless my hand is resting on my belly. Fortunately the belly is so big, my arm is almost always resting on little boy.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-14T22:16:00.000-08:00

We had a lovely day here and hope that everyone else was able to have at least half as nice of a day!

I'm going to back up to Friday. It's always a nice day to not have to get up and take the kids to school. We spent a very lazy day doing nothing until Brian got home from work at 4. We then headed down for a delicious dinner. The babies were very well behaved and I slept WONDERFULLY Friday night, although little boy was VERY active around 10:45!

Logan had a 9am basketball game, so we were up early. They lost again, but Logan played one of his best games ever. The team as a whole had a tough time getting a shot to go in, but Logan's understanding of where to be and what to do has greatly improved. He was quite aggressive (especially for Logan) with the rebounds and steals today. At the game the babies were both very active. I actually had my first moment while sitting that I was certain I was going to pee myself. Little girl must've reached down and done something. I'm so thankful to have not actually wet myself.

We had an early Valentine lunch of Round Table pizza (a family favorite). We all got to order our favorite, so there was even enough for dinner. We had a very nice day hanging out as a family. We watched City of Ember, Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist and Click today. Ciera and Brian also went out to pitch and to pick up a new pair of sneakers (she's been squeezing her 9 1/2 foot into a pair of 8 1/2's). Logan and I finished up the rough draft of his book report. He now has until Thursday night to do his final draft in cursive.

The babies continued to remain active for most of the day. There was one point where Logan put his hand on my belly and couldn't feel a baby part at all. The one time when someone wasn't poking out somewhere. I was able to find a little spot that you could feel a 'hard baby part' and Logan was satisfied with that.

Brian had a revelation today. If you recalled he had decided I'd birth the babes on the 17th. He told me today that he doesn't think it's possible that they'd really be born in just 4 short days. I have to agree, I'm pretty sure we have at least a week and honestly I'm feeling pretty good about our odds of getting March birthstones.

I do however think I will become much more uncomfortable as the days progress. I am starting to feel at a point of 'how could I possibly stretch any bigger'? My stomach is hard and tight all the time, there's just not much room in there. During the day I feel pretty OK, but when I get up in the night to go potty I feel like a large elephant walking from the bed to the bathroom. I can technically still drive, but I'll admit it's getting tougher. Reversing or looking behind me is the worst though. I didn't have a problem driving with the last pregnancy. Fortunately I don't have much driving to do, just taking the kids to and from school and my weekly OB appointment. I'm wondering if I'll have to call in help to get the kids to and from school by the end of the month though.

As long as we make it to 37 weeks on Thursday I will feel just fine about the babies coming on their own. But for STE's sake, I'd love to be able to hold off until March. I can not even imagine how stressed she must be about tackling everything right now. If you didn't catch it in the comments, S had a bicycling accident and broke a wrist and his other elbow. He's apparently in a sling and a cast. And to top it all off her mother that was going to help out with the kids has also injured herself! How do you get two babies home on a plane with a DH in a sling and a cast? I guess it's a good thing she ordered the slings that she can use together for both babies!

36 week baby info

2009-02-13T12:34:00.001-08:00

Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement.

At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.)

The ultrasound nitty gritty!

2009-02-13T10:27:00.000-08:00

Thursday started off like every other ultrasound appointment. I'm up, showered and ready to go by the time I take the kids to school (which is a big deal now that I generally come home and nap for 4 hours instead of showering). I had a bowl of cream of wheat before showering and after dropping the kids off decided a taco before leaving seemed like a good idea. I also took a 30 oz cup of hot milk on the road with me.

I arrive downtown for my 10 appointment. Melissa met me there as I was being taken into the waiting room. (For those unaware, Melissa is how STE and I met and she comes with me to virtually every ultrasound appointment. She was waiting for STE & S to become parents almost as badly as they were. She's been my surrogate IM when STE can't be here for things, she's been my agency if I had one and she's been a true friend and support for over 3 years). We probably got into the ultrasound around 10:30.

The scan went like it usually does. Heart rates look good, 136 for A and 141 for B I believe. Little girl is measuring ahead this scan, 37 weeks 4 days (which she's never really measured that far ahead before). She is still head down with her back along my left side (same position for quite awhile). Then it's little boys turn. He's as active as ever and apparently flipped again. At 11 he was head on my left side and body lying transverse (just 2 weeks ago his head was on my right side). Little boy seems to be measuring about 35 weeks 1 day (which is also on par with how he was measuring last month). Basically all of his measurements were fine except his femur bone. It's the one that was measuring small. But if anyone remembers, they had to remeasure him last time as well and it was decided that he may just have short legs (which is totally normal).

However, they call my OB and since I didn't have a follow-up appointment with him until next Thursday it was decided that I would be sent to Labor and Delivery. The ultrasound tech didn't know why, just that they were sending me. (Frustration #1-My OB should've known that I'd want to know why on earth I was being sent to L & D!-and yes he will hear all about it next week). The good news is my cervix is still nice and long and closed. Estimated weights were not mentioned, nor was amniotic fluid levels.

So we head a few blocks over to the hospital. At this point is 12:00 and I haven't eaten since 8:45. I also just spent the last two hours on my back or slightly on my side being pushed and prodded with the ultrasound wand on my sensitive belly. I'm slightly irritated to begin with since I had no intentions of having babies at 36 weeks!! At L & D no one seemed to know why I was there either, plus it was a busy birthing day and there were 2 other ladies waiting for a spot in triage. So, we waited and waited. After nearly 2 hours they took us into triage. I still haven't eaten anything since 8:45, nobody seems to know why I'm there other than they'll 'hook me up to the monitors, review the ultrasound and make a decision from there' ???

First of all, they technically could've reviewed the ultrasounds and CALLED ME!! Make a decision from there? I had no intention of birthing that day anyhow, I'll come back tomorrow when it's not so busy! If we're really here because B is measuring smaller than A, even I can tell you that his leg was measuring smaller a month ago, if they'd bothered to ask (or even to read last month's ultrasound report-I'm sure it was mentioned).

But I decided that we'll just get in there, do what they ask and then we can get out. I'll just suck it up and get through. I change into my gown, which is fine. But then I'm supposed to put this elastic 'girdle' on to hold the monitors in place. Technically, the girdle is not leaving marks, but does anyone remember that I can't stand anything on my belly or my back. That's why I had to make my own belly band, the bella band is just too tight for me to be comfortable (and the girdle was tighter than my bella band). But that's alright, I'll suck it up, how long can it be? Get in and get it done. So I climb on the bed and it's instantly clear that although I'm reclined, it's not going to be comfy and there's that gap in my back and the bed that sure could use an extra pillow! We make due by putting my rolled up pants there and I'm able to close my eyes and try to relax for a bit.

They did take my blood pressure and it was fine, as well as my urine and a 1 lb weight gain since last week.

After waiting an hour Melissa pops her head out to see WHEN someone is going to come see me. "Nobody's been in there yet?" Uh, no! Seems like it should be someones job to make sure that everyone is seen, but then we're not there for labor, we're just there for who knows what! So a second nurse comes in and looks at the monitoring strip (which we'd been hoping someone had been monitoring outside). It looks as though it's only picking up 1 babies heartbeat and we need to reposition the monitors.

Around this point I start to lose it. I STILL haven't eaten since 8:45, I've been lying uncomfortably for over 2 hours, I sat uncomfortably in a chair for 2 hours (with no lumbar support either) and the nurse is now saying that we have to got through this whole monitoring thing AGAIN!! We already know that I'm not contracting, the first hour of monitoring told us that. We KNOW that the babies have beating hearts-I CAN FEEL THEM MOVING NONSTOP the entire time I'm lying uncomfortably on the triage bed (which are those really beds?). WHY on earth do we need to monitor the heart rates, we're here because of size discrepancy, right? So she moves the monitors and leaves us again.

Shortly after a doc comes in and sees that we're still not picking up 2 heart rates, so she scans me to verify WHERE the hearts are (guess what, they are exactly where Melissa told them they were). While she scans me I have to lie entirely flat on my back with my legs flat as well. (There is no way this position is ever recommended to a pregnant woman, yet alone pregnant with twins). She takes her time and verifies what we've told her and then we try again with the monitors. She also takes a moment to check my cervix manually-STILL CLOSED! At this point I'm now in tears and STILL HUNGRY! They want me to hold off on food for a little bit longer, just in case. JUST IN CASE OF WHAT? Does anyone KNOW why I'm here!!

Then a 3rd nurse comes in and helps to get everything under control. She gets the monitors where they need to be. She LISTENS to what is wrong and bothering me! She cuts some holes in the death girdle and I instantly feel better with some of the pressure taken away. She gets some hot sheets to put behind my back and shoulders to ease the pain AND she gets me a wet washcloth for my forehead (which really does help take away the nauseous, hot feeling). Finally a 'snack pack' is brought in for me and I get to eat some graham crackers, carrots, pudding and grape juice. Since the babies were moving so much this 3rd nurse also stayed and monitored the heart rates and adjusted as necessary, rather than waiting an hour to realize that someone had moved away from the monitor.

FINALLY, after over 2 hours of what I'm now calling torture, the perinatoligist comes in to discuss why I'm there. She's spoken with my OB, reviewed all of the ultrasounds and doesn't really think there's much cause for concern. Baby B's stomach measurement is right on target (and that's the one they can really go by as far as growth). He just has a small femur measurement (again, we knew this LAST month). She says everything looks great, especially for 36 weeks, the babies look fine, my cervix looks great, no contractions, blood pressure is good. We are free to go.

It's now 4:45, traffic time. Melissa and I are both exhausted and hungry, but decide to get home and then eat. I give Brian a call and ask him to pick up pizza (or whatever, but I know if given the choice he'll pick pizza) so it's ready when I get home in an hour. I call him back a little later and ask for ice cream or Peanut M & M's also. If I was a drinker, I'm pretty sure I would've needed a drink after a day like this. Traffic wasn't too bad and I realize I'm going to be home early and pizza won't be there yet, so I stop at the Jack in the Box drive through for the curly fry craving that hit me while waiting at the hospital.

Dinner arrived home 5 minutes after I did. I had Brian take the weekly pictures real quick so I could undress for the day. I ate dinner, splurged on a can of fruit punch and headed for the tub. I noticed that there was some brown spotting (which is totally normal after a cervical check), so I opted for a hot shower over the tub (just in case). Then I headed for bed and a little Sober House. It just felt so good to lie down in my bed, supported by pillows where I needed support (Ciera counted them up, 8 pillows to make me happy) and a heating pad on my back. I even got a quick foot rub before bed.

Thank goodness Brian had Thursday off for Lincoln's Birthday. He was easily able to pick up the kids and I didn't have to worry about timing or who could do what. The kids were just happy to be home with their dad.

So the good news is I'm really not contracting, just like I thought. I do get an uncomfortably hard belly quite often, but I've been assuming it's the babies stretching out-and it is. My trip to L & D has me really doubting my ability to survive a vaginal birth. I'm sure it will be OK, but a scheduled c-section doesn't sound so bad after my afternoon in triage.

As for today, my hips hurt when I woke up, but a soak in a hot tub has already made a difference (no more spotting today). My back feels better and emotionally I'm in a much better place, although still irritated beyond belief! The kids are out of school, so we all got to sleep in and we have no plans until dinner tonight. We are headed to Brian's parents house to celebrate his dad's birthday over lasagna.

As bad as my day was yesterday, it's still wasn't quite as bad as STE's. Melissa was able to text her the whole time to keep her in the loop, but she was dealing with quite alot as well. I think at some point when she can process her week, she should record it for posterity. When she looks back on it in several years, it will seem like a hilarious week and it would've been totally fitting for her babies to be born on Friday, the 13th.

36 week belly pictures

2009-02-13T08:39:00.000-08:00

Here it is, in all it's glory! The top picture is my 'belly band' that I made to cover my belly since my shirts don't. The foot is obviously my swollen foot. I don't think the picture does it much justice though. The kids desperately wanted to be in the picture last night-Logan is flashing the peace sign! Check out my new bracelet!

36 week ultrasound

2009-02-12T17:51:00.001-08:00

Technically the babies are fine and all is good. My OB got a little over cautious and sent me to Labor and Delivery and it took over 4 hours to be told basically what we already knew, the babies are fine, but baby boy may not be super tall.

I'm beat, emotionally and physically and I'm starving. I will post the entire story by tomorrow, but for tonight I'm satisfied with heart rates are good, babies are growing, I'm not contracting and my cervix is still closed.

A HUGE THANK YOU to Melissa for keeping me sane and advocating my needs!! Not sure I could've gotten through it without you there!!

When will the babies come?

2009-02-12T07:07:00.001-08:00

I know many people like to do a poll on when the babies will arrive and how big they will be. Here's why I will NOT be doing one. I don't want to see when anyone thinks I'll give out. Purely selfish! My goal from the beginning was at least 37 weeks, preferably 38, but at the very least 37. P & L were delivered at 36 weeks 6 days and that 1 extra day always was a sore spot for me.

So knowing this, my husband who claims to love me very much has decided that the babies will be born on February 17. Only 36 weeks 5 days!! Regardless of my goal, he's putting his money on a day earlier than P & L, and this has me a bit irritated. So to save you all from my wrath, I will not ask when you think the babies will come.

It was asked yesterday if we have a 'cutoff' date. STE has promised me that I will not be pregnant for my son's birthday (March 16). This was an easy promise as our due date is March 12. However to be much more realistic the cutoff date is actually March 2/3. My Dr. is at the hospital on the 2nd, but mom and dad really love the idea of 3/3/09. I 'm still trying to figure out how we can 'plan' for that date. So at the very most I have 20 more days to get through. Having just seen pictures of the octuplet mother's belly at birth, I'm feeling much better at the distortion mine is taking on.

So for all of you betting people, feel free to mentally pick a date and after the birth we can see who was closest. P weighed 5lbs 4 oz- 18 3/4 inches and L weighed 5lbs 10 oz- 18 inches long-born via c-section at 36weeks 6 days.

The final hours of week 35!

2009-02-11T22:16:00.001-08:00

The rest of my day was fairly good. I got a good afternoon nap and the dog obliged me by snuggling with me the whole time. It was raining when the kids got out of school, but it didn't seem to ruin anyone's day. Logan got to have a friend come for a bit and Ciera went to hit with Brian.

I made an early dinner, as I was really hungry and wanting the planned tacos. Brian hadn't seemed to excited about tacos when I mentioned it last night, so I made him some ravioli. The tacos were exactly what I was looking for, but they did give me heartburn. I've had heartburn issues for the past few days fairly regularly though.

I had a meeting at school and Logan had basketball practice. When I got home I headed to soak in the tub. My inner thigh/pelvic region had been hurting a bit today and the hot water really makes the hips feel better. It's been several days since anyone rubbed my feet, so tonight was the night. Brian and Logan both took a foot and I was in heaven! They feel (and look) so much better after 30 minutes of rubbing. I think we need to do it more often.

Ciera lost her very last baby tooth tonight. She is such a baby about loose teeth and totally avoids the area. The hygienist told her 2 weeks ago that it had to come out or we were going to have to pull it. Tonight was deadline night before Ciera had to pay to have the dentist remove it. It took a good hour, but she finally decided that I could 'help'. All it took was one easy tug, but man is she playing it up now. She keeps running back and forth from bed to the bathroom. There's really not that much blood, but she can't be convinced.

Tomorrow we are 36 weeks!! I have an ultrasound at 10 and then IHOP should be calling my name-pancakes and hash browns-YUM! As a state employee, Brian has tomorrow off so I should be able to get a picture posted earlier in the day. I may even throw in a foot picture just so you can fully envision the 'tree trunks'-it's not too pretty.

35 weeks 6 days!

2009-02-11T11:12:00.000-08:00

Good grief we're getting close!

I slept OK last night, but there was a lot of changing positions. I awoke with a sore right hip again, but not as painful as last weeks. I also seem to have a ton of congestion again. I woke up a little early this morning, around 5:45 and was starving. I am out of Cherrios (which is a quick fix), so I decided to just get up and make pancakes. Brian was quite surprised to find a hot breakfast ready when he got out of the shower. Ciera ate one in bed (with no syrup). When I finally went to check on her (since she wasn't in the shower yet), I found her asleep in bed with the pancake on her chest! Good thing she was clever enough to not use syrup.

I then climbed into bed with Logan and figured I'd let him sleep in a bit. Yesterday he finished up all of his schoolwork for the week, so I knew he'd be OK going in a little late. I got back up at 8 to take Ciera (who hates to be late or miss a day) to school. Logan and I finally got up and were at school by 9. I had no copies today, but I did cut out a bit of laminated activities.

The dog had to go to the groomer at 10 and I was starving by the time I got back. A can of soup and 2 pieces of delicious whole wheat toast and I'm feeling much better, if not a little sleepy. I'm headed for my nap now.

I feel a little/a lot bigger today and am moving a bit slow, but basically feel pretty good.

Little girl's got the hiccups!

2009-02-10T20:22:00.000-08:00

I feel them down real low, there's no doubt that it's her and not her brother. Although her brother has continued to stretch out all evening and is causing a bit of a ruckus!

I sure hope STE is getting good rest now while she can!

How can sneezing hurt so bad?

2009-02-10T18:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I thought it was a fluke that it hurt my belly to sneeze. But again today I have to hold myself and it still hurts, down low and up high! Other than the sneezing I'm still feeling pretty good.
I slept much better last night, although I awoke with my ear hurting (you know when you sleep on it funny and it hurts for a bit?).

I took the kids to school and immediately climbed back in bed. I had a lovely nap from 8:30-12:00 and then had to get up to potty and eat. I was back in bed by 12:30 to rest for another hour. I didn't entirely sleep, but I know I wasn't entirely awake either.

I finally took a shower around 2 and got ready for the day. I had a box of clothes to send back to Old Navy and I was determined to drop the box off at UPS today. I picked up the kids and they both volunteered to walk the box in for me.

Once we got home I had to immediately take my pants off again. I'll have to take that pair out of circulation. The kids were quite appalled when I told them I was just going to wear a blanket to the hospital on delivery day. I think they should just be thankful that I put on pants to take them to school!

As I headed out to pick up the kids there was a package on the doorstep. I exhibited great self control and I didn't immediately open it. I went to pick up the kids first, being the good mother that I am. As soon as we got home I tore into it though. Inside was a beautiful box with Valentine cookies from STE and family. The kids loved the bubble wrap and it didn't take long to convince me to try a cookie-YUM! Thanks again for a special treat!

Ciera and Brian went out to pitch and Logan and I played 2 rounds of Jenga. I lost both times, although I don't know how it happened. For dinner tonight we finished off the last of the Omaha Steak burgers. Ciera asked for seconds before she was even finished with the first. This is huge, as Ciera often doesn't eat much of whatever I make.

As I sit here typing little boy is currently stretching around and taking my breath away. It's amazing to think that the babies will be here soon-less than 3 weeks! I finally brought my overnight bag in from the garage. Eventually I'll get it upstairs and pack it, or I won't.

Tomorrow won't allow me an uninterrupted 4 hour nap, but I should be able to make due with 2 2 hour naps. If someone knows of any research to indicate that all of this sleeping is bad for me or the babies, please let me know. Until then, I will continue to nap to my heart's content.

A pretty good Monday

2009-02-09T18:47:00.000-08:00

I really expected to sleep great last night. It was feather bed fluffing night and we put on fresh, clean sheets. I also didn't really nap on Sunday and slept poorly Saturday night. All of those things combined should've allowed me a glorious night of sleep.

It wasn't a bad sleep, once I got there. Both kids had trouble getting to sleep as well. Perhaps we all slept in too much on Saturday. I drug myself out of bed at 7:04 to get Logan in the shower. When we get in the van, a few minutes late, we immediately noticed that the Garmin GPS was missing. We all hoped that perhaps Brian had needed it and had taken it before he left for work.

When I got home Brian confirmed my fear, he did not have Garmin. Apparently someone had taken it, but left my purse and checkbook (neither of which should've been left in the car, I know). I couldn't be 100% sure that I'd locked the van that night. I immediately filed a report online (love that option) and within 30 minutes I had a call from the Police Department. They had picked up a guy earlier that morning that had a lot of GPS units and they wanted me to come identify mine. We still had the box and serial number, so that made the whole process so much easier. Turns out they also had my watch, but we can't think of anything else that's missing from the van.

When I got home it was absolutely nap-time. It was only 10 so I felt a little silly setting the alarm for 2:45, but figured better safe than sorry. My greatest fear is getting a wake up phone call at 3:30 because I've forgotten to pick up the kids from school. Imagine my surprise when I finally got up and it was already 2:30! No wonder I was hungry.

It was a very low key afternoon and an early dinner (more tri-tip). I think we're all just puttering around until we can go to bed. Both kids were very tired today and hopefully we'll all get to bed easily and on time.

Physically I feel pretty good today, but I haven't really done anything. The back feels pretty good and the feet aren't very sore. The babies continue to remain active and it seems as though little girl A prefers when there is no pants band pressing on her. Unfortunately I can't seem to get anything to stay below the belly while sitting, so I spend a lot of time with no pants on, but wrapped in a blanket-for everyone's comfort. I'm sure 3 more weeks of growth will make this situation much better!

Tomorrow is another day much like today. I have nothing on the calendar except finishing up the laundry that was started today. Wednesday I have to take the dog to the groomer and a short meeting at school. Thursday I have my ultrasound, so it will be my busiest day of the week by far. Friday there is no school, so we get to sleep in and I don't have to make dinner. We're having a birthday dinner for Brian's dad that night. Then we're back at the weekend again. Even though I only have a 1 hour game commitment each Saturday and Sunday, they are my busier days.

35 weeks 3 days belly pictures

2009-02-08T21:11:00.000-08:00

Sadly, these are the best of the lot this week. I didn't realize they were all so bad until after I'd given up on being productive for the day.
Yes, that is my belly hanging out the bottom!

The day went pretty good considering how lousy I slept. Logan's team lost their soccer game 4-1, but we avoided the rain for another game.

I took a hot bath when we got home, followed by a hot shower. I was feeling pretty good. I went down to make dinner (mac & cheese with hot dogs) and cut up some red peppers for Ciera. I got through 2 peppers when my back suddenly was killing me (and this was just after getting out of the bath). I immediately had Brian take over and I retired to the bed.

Ciera and I watched Grease 2 (the team watched Grease last night, so she was finally interested). I dozed off and on with the heating pad and am feeling a bit better. I'm officially done being productive for the day though. My shoulders feel really tight for the first time too. We shall see what tomorrow brings.

Some thoughts and grumblings

2009-02-08T12:46:00.000-08:00

I had a thought the other day that has stuck with me and I thought I should share.

If I was pregnant with my own twins, would I be able to lie around so patiently waiting for them to decide when they were ready to be born? Or, like the birth of both Ciera and Logan would I be bursting at the seams and willing to do anything to just get them out already so I can love on them?

Ciera was induced shortly after 37 weeks, mostly because I was tired of waiting and the dr. went ahead and scheduled an induction for me. Logan came around 38 weeks, but I had no qualms about augmenting my labor with pitocin to 'get things moving'. Brian and I were discussing likely birth dates for these twins and I honestly hope and believe we can really get to 38+ weeks.

I know if they were my babies I wouldn't be able to stay in bed and 'gestate'. There'd be so many things that I'd be trying to do or get done before they were born (which would probably cause them to be born sooner). One of my most amazing discoveries through surrogacy is just how different a pregnancy can feel when you don't have any of the 'planning' of how to integrate the baby into your life after birth to constantly think/obsess/worry about. It's pretty nice to JUST think about what I can do to help these babies grow strong and healthy for their parents, and let their parents worry about how to integrate 2 new babies into their lives.

I'm sure that's part of why my kids seem oblivious to the fact that soon 2 humans will force their way out of me. The pregnancy doesn't really affect their lives and I've gone to great lengths to make sure that my being pregnant doesn't impact what I can do for them either.

Now just to screw up a perfectly good post I'm going to vent about my rainbow chip cupcakes! When Brian went to the store for me he of course had Ciera with him, as he had just picked her up. I sent him with a very detailed list of what I needed/wanted and how much to pay for the items. I even verbally went through the list so there were no surprises that he didn't understand (on the off chance that a grocery list was confusing). The list specifically said RAINBOW CHIP cake mix and frosting and I'd verbally explained NOT sprinkles, rainbow chip (that might've been the problem-too much explaining to pay attention to). So, needless to say when they arrived home with the groceries there were unexpected items, flavors and FUNFETTI cake and frosting! Funfetti is sprinkles!!! There's nothing I can do except to make them, eat them and complain the whole time that it's not RAINBOW CHIP! I will leave out my rant about the pudding flavors!

Ugh!

2009-02-08T10:02:00.001-08:00

Saturday was a great day! Ciera got dropped off to serve food at the Softball Tri-tip dinner and Logan's basketball game was at 5:30. He played his heart out again although they did not win.

After the game, Brian, Logan and I headed to Target to pick up a sleeping bag for Ciera for the softball team sleepover (apparently her 'camo' sleeping bag from when she was 5 is a little embarrassing). Brian was then off to go work the clean up shift at the Tri-tip dinner. Logan got to get an Icee and then we drove through Carl's Jr. for Western Bacon Cheeseburgers (which were wonderful). By the time we got home and finished eating it was almost 8:30, not quite enough time to watch a movie and really Logan had some shows he was interested in anyhow. I headed to bed and he watched his shows in bed with me as we snuggled the dog. By bedtime I was quite pleased with how 'good' I had felt all day. Yes, the feet looked horrible (Logan said "oh my god, they look like tree trunks!"), but they weren't hurting.

When Brian got home around 11:30 I debated whether it would be wise to fully awaken and discuss the day/evening with him or if I should just stay asleep. I made the wrong choice! It was nice to talk for a bit about how everything went, but when he went to bed at 12ish, I was stuck! I laid in bed 'resting' until about 3:30 when I was finally able to fall back asleep. I did have a bowl of cereal while I checked out the internet around 1ish, but mostly I really tried hard to go back to sleep. It's funny that lying in the same positions awake is not half as comfy as when I'm asleep. And to top it all off, I received a reminder call at 9am (on a Sunday) about my ultrasound this coming Thursday.

I'm feeling OK, but I can feel the tiredness in my body this morning. My back aches, my hips hurt and my legs are achy-but it's all from lack of sleep. Apparently there is a difference between 'resting' your body and getting sleep.

Ciera has a pitching lesson this afternoon and then Logan has soccer at 3. I'm hoping to get a nap in before or after soccer. The good news is Brian was able to buy a big ziploc bag full of leftover tri-tip (for only $5). We will be eating tri-tip all day. Brian is also stopping by the store with a list for me, so hopefully we'll get to make Rainbow Chip cupcakes today too (darn babies with their crazy desires).

Speaking of the babies, I was shocked at just how much they moved around all night while I was awake. I'm starting to wonder if they actually have sleep periods!

Saturday morning!

2009-02-07T10:31:00.000-08:00

It's only 10:30, but the house is very quiet. Logan and I have been up since 10, but everyone else is still sleeping hard. Brian was VERY tired when he returned home yesterday from helping to set up the Tri-tip dinner. Plus he had to stop at Sam's for me, run Logan's basketball practice and work Ciera hard for 30 minutes at Extra Innings. He just about fell into bed last night (right after a long, drawn out foot rub).

I slept great again last night, only waking at 3 and 6 due to bladder issues. By 10am the babies were screaming for some breakfast.

When do you just give up?

2009-02-06T12:51:00.001-08:00

A book, I mean. When do you finally say, "I just can't read this book!" I feel compelled to keep plugging away because I know others have liked it and I've already invested so much darn time in it. I am 1/2 way through The Queen's Fool and so far I honestly don't care what happens next. I keep hoping I'll gain interest or something/anything will happen, but I'm starting to wonder if it will. I can't read more than 9-10 pages MAX (most days it's more like 2-4) before I can't read anymore. It just seems so wrong to give up!

Furlough Friday

2009-02-06T11:16:00.000-08:00

I SLEPT GREAT LAST NIGHT!! I slept a solid stretch from 11-3 before having to reposition or go potty! 3-6:46 was also great!! I feel really good today, although I'm still looking forward to my nap at 12:30.

I broke down and made pancakes at home. They were exactly what I'd been wanting! Normally I make them thin because that's how the kids like them, but the IHOP commercials show big, thick pancakes-and that's what I wanted. It finally dawned on me that I don't HAVE to make them thin. So I thickened up the batter and they were delicious! I am actually feeling a little 'over full' right now and would love to take my nap, but I promised Ciera a hot lunch today-it's just another hour.

I fell asleep chuckling at the babies last night. As I was trying to tuck myself into a comfy spot, so were they. They both shot out in different spots and applied a lot of belly stretching pressure. No matter how much I rubbed their little body parts, they wouldn't relax and sink back in. I finally fell asleep despite their odd positions.

The feet are still swollen and they've finally gotten to the stage of feeling really good when someone rubs the top. If I could reach them myself I'd rub them all day long. But since I can barely put my pants on by myself I have to wait for someone else to rub them for me. Logan is very sweet about being willing, but he just can't seem to apply any pressure. Ciera did a great job rubbing my feet during the last pregnancy, but she can't even be bothered to do it this time. Thankfully, Brian will do it happily before getting into bed.

Today is Brian's first 'Furlough Friday'. Our wonderful governor has decided that a 10% pay cut shouldn't affect us too much and we might really enjoy having 2 Friday's off a month. Today was the first Friday. Thankfully we won't notice the financial hit until after the babies are born, so they won't have to feel my stress. Ciera's softball team is hosting a Tri-tip dinner tomorrow night, so Brian is off to spend his 'free Friday' helping to set up for the dinner. He's also been a trooper about having to work my share of the event as well.

The weather has turned rainy again (although I'm not sure you can call this occasional sprinkling a rain), so I think we will have potato soup with ham for dinner. Everyone seems to enjoy this and it's such a nice thing for a cool evening. Tonight Brian is running Logan's basketball practice and then he's taking Ciera to pitch. Good thing he got to sleep in today, it sounds like he's got a lot of running around to do.

Saturday is looking to be a nice day though. We all get to sleep in and Logan doesn't have basketball until 5:30. Ciera and Brian have to work at the Tri-tip dinner, but Logan and I get to spend the evening at home, perhaps watching a horrible movie.

I mentioned to the kids last night that the babies will be born within a few weeks and they were both shocked and surprised. It really has flown by!

Thursday 35 weeks-OB appointment

2009-02-05T18:52:00.000-08:00

Last night was a horrible night of sleep. I was restless and had more disturbing dreams. I was aware of and worried about my right foot all night. In my rational mind I think my foot was just fine, but in my sleepy non-rational mind I was afraid my foot was losing circulation and would fall off. I also think I'd gotten it into my head that baby girl (A) was just going to 'fall out' with no notice and then what would I do? I worked this up in my sleeping head so much that I was even in an ambulance and I had one call. Do I call someone to pick up my kids from school? Do I call STE first and she finds someone to pick up my kids? I realized that I haven't prepared any sort of a phone tree in the event that there's no time to call everyone! I have people to help out and cover everything, but no one knows how to get a hold of each other. Now honestly, what are the odds that baby girl will fall out while I'm going potty and I'll only get 1 phone call? But it crept into my crazy sleeping mind and the night was a doozy! At 5:00 am I finally took 2 Tylenol because I could already feel the 'tired' in my legs and knew I needed to feel OK for the day, I had an eyebrow waxing appointment for goodness sakes!

So when I finally got up at 7 I was feeling much better despite not getting a deep rest. After taking the kids to school it was time to shower and actually do my hair for the day. The funny thing about napping on curly hair each day is you quickly lose all desire to even try to make it look nice. I 'think' I'm liking the new cut, but since I've only done it twice and slept on it both days, it's hard to be sure. I like parts of it and we'll see how the rest of it goes once I'm no longer pregnant. The curl changes so much with the hormones.

I had a 9:45 eyebrow waxing appointment, so that my brows aren't all bushy in every picture. If the hair's going to be crazy, at least the brows can be groomed. Then I headed to town for my 11:00 OB appointment. I was early but figured I'd get to be seen early-nope. They were actually running late for the first time ever. We went ahead and did the Group B strep swab today and he figured while I was sitting there without pants he may as well check my cervix-TOTALLY CLOSED!!! This is so reassuring to me because little girl can't fall out into the toilet if my cervix is totally closed!! So now I can stop worrying about that! I'm no longer going to mention the weight gain, just know that there was a gain and I don't want to talk about it (boy do I hope these babies are big). My pulse was 80 and my initial blood pressure was 119/90. I do believe there was user error there though. They came back and used the automatic reader and I was 129/78-and that was taken while I was sitting with just a paper napkin over my lap (why are those cloths so small?).

So basically everything looks good still. I have an ultrasound next Thursday(36 weeks) and we'll get to check the cervix visually and verify that the placentas still look good and the babies are growing at good rates still. I don't go back to my OB until the following Thursday (37 weeks), but I know if I have a question or am unsure about something I can get in sooner or just go to triage at the hospital. Assuming A is still head down next week (which I can't imagine there's been a way for her to move anyhow), we just wait to go into labor anytime after the 19th (37 weeks, which was my goal). Of course we'd all love to make it to March, but I just don't know how realistic that is. Perhaps I have a cervix of steel and we'll have to force them out at 40 weeks. I sure wish I had my magic 8 ball still!

After the appointment I stopped by Walmart. I picked up a pair of 'thong' slippers with outdoor soles for my swollen feet. Doc wasn't concerned about it so, I just need to find something to put on them. I walked past the baby section to get to the shoes and of course had to take a peek. I ended up picking up coordinating outfits, but I've decided to take them back. They just don't scream STE's babies to me. They were cute, but not quite special enough. Have you seen the preemie sized clothes at Walmart? They are tiny and I'm really thinking will be too small, fingers crossed.

After a lunch of leftovers the bug guy arrived to check out our 'bat' situation. The other day Brian and Logan were in the garage playing pool when a bat started flying around. Brian 'disabled' it with a tennis racket and tossed it into the nearby ditch. The following day the 'disabled' bat turned up on our side patio outside of the garage! After calling animal control to verify the proper way to 'dispose' of it, Brian whacked it with a shovel. The bug guy said he didn't see any bat 'poo' nor did it 'smell' like bats, so we're probably OK.

Once he left I had 1 whole hour to nap. Have I mentioned how much I love my naps? I'm not sure what I'll do once these babies are born and I have no excuse to be napping daily. The kids had a good day at school. Ciera seems to have an easy work week, as she's had nothing to do after school. Logan has two reports to write a final draft on tonight, plus he needs to get going on the next chapter of Johnny Tremain. He's really enjoying the book, but I'm finding I know nothing about that time period and I'm not super sad about it.

For dinner tonight we had cheesey chicken with pasta and garlic bread (chicken tenderloins baked in red sauce and covered with mozzarella). I am still not doing chicken, so I had some leftover meat sauce in the freezer to go with my pasta. Logan helped me mix up a package of peanut butter cookies that we added chocolate chips to-YUM!!!

I'm hoping for some good rest tonight. My body is physically tired today, although I've felt pretty good. My back hurts a little from waiting at the Dr's office, but a hot shower and the heating pad at bedtime should help. I was going to put on clean sheets and 'fluff' the bed tonight with Brian's help, but I think it will have to wait for tomorrow.

The babies continue to be incredibly active. According to the 35 week info I posted they really shouldn't be able to flip anymore, but good golly can they still move! I feel pushed and prodded all over today and I'm starting to get a little sore! I just have to remind myself that it hopefully just means they are growing big and will be super healthy when they come out in 3 more weeks (or so).

I'll get a picture taken and posted tomorrow.

The last time I play along with anything :)

2009-02-05T17:44:00.000-08:00

Tag, you’re it: Betsey, Robynanne, Trisha, Jenn

If you’re reading along with me, your instructions:
1. Find your sixth picture folder and in that folder, the sixth picture
2. Post it on your blog with some of the background of the picture
3. Tag four others and leave a comment on their blog to let them know they’ve been tagged.

I was unable to properly be 'tagged'. I was supposed to post my 6th picture from my 6th folder. The 6th folder from the top only had 5 pictures and the 6th folder from the bottom had an inappropriately dressed 2 year old Ciera finger paining in the bathtub. I decided she'd rather die than find out I posted a naked picture of her on the internet. So I improvised and used a picture I love and that I normally would have no reason to post.

This is one of my favorite photos of the kids when they were little. Our cousin Jackson is in the tank, Ciera in the middle and Logan (making his best smile-this is really how he smiled until about 4) in grey. This was August 2001 (or so the folder says)

35 weeks!!

2009-02-05T16:09:00.000-08:00

How your baby's growing:

Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

Ahh! It feels good to feel good!

2009-02-04T10:00:00.000-08:00

I am feeling SO much better today! I slept poorly with some really odd dreams that I couldn't even describe if I tried. I did wake around 2 with my belly hurting, but I was able to go right back to sleep and the next time I awoke I felt fine.

I am currently dealing with some personal feminine issues that I won't go into detail about, but it sure does take my mind off the hemorrhoids.

I've come up with a solution to my belly hanging out of everything. The Bella Band that I ordered was better than the one size fits all model that is sold at Motherhood Maternity, but it is still stretchy and I find it moves all the time and rides up in the back. It also seems to make my back hurt as it's so snug. SO, I decided to cut the top off a maternity tank that is far to snug and short to wear. It makes a perfect 'belly cover' when cut in half and since there's no stretch it is nice and comfy and doesn't ride up. It gives me lower belly coverage without squeezing me in two. Hopefully it just looks like a layered shirt to everyone else.

My copies are done for the week and I have the March snack calendar all printed up for Logan's class. I also take care of the Scholastic Book orders each month and I have everything ready to be delegated to others so it can still go out on time (end of Feb/early March). January's books should be here by Friday, so I'm feeling pretty on top of the situation.

The babies are good and active this morning, but thankfully not at the same time.

Ciera told me Sunday night that she really needed/wanted a pair of denim skinny jeans. On Saturday her softball team is hosting a Tri-tip dinner and the girls are to wear denim and their uniform top. Of course all the other girls WILL be wearing skinny jeans and I really didn't want her to feel left out (especially since I won't be there and I already feel guilty about that). The problem is that I knew it would take several hours of trying on jeans at the mall to find the 'right' pair and I was just not up for that at this stage of the game. I figured Brian could take her, but he would HATE being at the mall that long. Thankfully, Grandma said she'd love to go shopping with Ciera. So they spent 4 hours at the mall yesterday after school. I don't know how she does it, but she always brings her home with a smile on her face. Under normal conditions, I would be exhausted after 4 hours in the mall with Ciera, but Grandma makes it look easy. Ciera came home with the tightest pair of denim skinny jeans ever, but she loves them! She also managed to find several tops that she just had to have. She found a pair of shoes that she loved, but they didn't have her size in stock. My baby wears a 9 1/2 shoe now!! Just last year she was an 8. My foot wasn't that big until after 3 pregnancies!

Ciera gets to go to a friend's house today and Logan gets to have his friend over, so it should be a nice afternoon. Dinner should be easy and asparagus was on sale, so I'm adding it to our London Broil menu. While at the store I couldn't resist the mint chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches, so we even get dessert tonight.

I will now head back to bed and maybe even get a chapter read before I fall asleep.

The babies are back!

2009-02-03T18:46:00.000-08:00

I can see the ticker babies again-such a relief!!

Today was the sort of day that makes me thankful for all of the 'good days' in the week. I woke up today with my right hip hurting a ton and my legs aching like crazy. I just didn't feel good. I skipped a free Grand Slam at Denny's and spent the day in bed.

When I went to pick up the kids at 3 I was feeling MUCH better, but still not a great day. I did manage to get dinner made (meatloaf, scalloped potatoes, mixed veggies and biscuits) but had quite a few moments of intense pelvic pain and baby movement pain.

Today was a day that would make me think there's no way we can make it 27 more days. Fortunately most days it doesn't seem too difficult. I intend to head to bed early with the hope of waking up tomorrow and feeling great!

Assuming I wake up feeling great, I have about 10 minutes worth of copying to do and then more lounging around in bed. The London broil is marinating tonight and should be ready for an easy dinner tomorrow.

Belly button woes!

2009-02-02T23:39:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I forgot to mention how sore my belly button was when I woke up Monday morning! It felt much better in the afternoon, but it's become sensitive again this evening (or maybe it's because Ciera hurt it's feelings when she said it looked funny-it is looking funny though).

I also feel like the babies are lower than they were just a week ago. My belly is almost lower than my 'girl parts' and my upper belly doesn't feel as 'full'. Who really knows though.

It's so funny to feel the babies react when I play the recording of their family. They just move and wiggle the whole time. It's quite fun to be a part of.

1 day down-29 to go!!

2009-02-02T20:26:00.000-08:00

Somehow I managed to sleep away the day again. After taking the kids to school I was back in bed and asleep by 9am. I woke up starving and having to potty at noon. I was able to trick the dog into snuggling with me the whole time as well. After getting some food I was able to lie around in bed until time to pick up the kids. I did sneak a hot bath in and a few more pages of my 'tiresome' book.

The rest of the afternoon was spent reclined in my computer chair with my feet propped on the top of the couch. Technically my feet were higher than my heart, but it didn't seem to make a difference in the swelling, which is officially not good looking. They don't hurt too bad yet, but they are starting to hurt a little. I'm pretty sure if I allowed myself back upstairs I could've slept the evening away.

After a few hours in the chair I was able to talk myself into making dinner. It wasn't a difficult dinner, I just couldn't make it from my chair. We had breaded pork chops (Logan's favorite), scalloped potatoes, corn and applesauce (homemade by grandma). Ciera finally tried the scalloped potatoes with an 'open mind' and surprise, surprise, she loved them!

We have a little bit left to pick up so the gals can clean tomorrow and then we're off to bed! For those that aren't aware, you can get a free Grand Slam at Denny's tomorrow from 6am-2pm. I can't decide when to go, but I am SO looking forward to the pancakes! If all goes well we'll be having meatloaf for dinner tomorrow, with biscuits, YUM!

Super Bowl Sunday, what?

2009-02-01T19:32:00.000-08:00

I think there was a big game on today, but I got to enjoy a final lunch at BJ's Brewery with surrogate friends and come home to a quiet house all to myself for the evening! Logan and Brian went to the cousins' house for the game and Ciera got to go see a movie with her aunt and Grandma. I think everyone should be happy.

Lunch was great. We got to meet a new surro in the area and 2 surros came from about 2 hours away just to have lunch with us. I've really had a craving for pancakes-and not the ones I can make at home, actual restaurant pancakes, but BJ's doesn't serve pancakes so I had a tough choice, baked potato with brocolli, cheese and alfredo sauce or the open face chili cheese burger with onion strings. If I was to take a poll, I'm sure you could all guess that I ended up with the chili burger. I wish I had taken my camera to take a picture of it for you. It was delicious for lunch and equally good for dinner tonight. Somehow, that did not give me heartburn!

The babies were pretty good to me physically during lunch. There weren't any major movements, just the pressing/stretching out that they do. The hardest part of the day was probably getting out of my chair each time I had to go to the restroom. The pressure from little girl just seems to get more intense each day. Fortunately it's not so bad while I'm lying down. My feet are officially swollen and if I could talk myself into going to a store, I'd pick up something that fits them.

This week is pretty clear. The kids have another field trip on Monday (bad timing, they usually aren't so close together). Because we are at a small charter school (120 kids k-8), we do not bus the kids anywhere. Anytime there is a field trip, we need parent drivers. They are going to downtown Sacramento (about a 45 min drive each way) to see 2 educational films at the IMAX theater. I really was looking forward to seeing the movies, but they were able to get enough drivers without me, so Brian is going to meet the kids at the theater and see the film with them. I will hang out in bed and consider shampooing my hair.

The rest of the week is pretty open. Ciera will still go out and pitch with Brian and Logan has basketball practice on Thursday and Friday. I have an OB appointment on Thursday, where I can get my weekly relief that my blood pressure and urine are all OK. Again, if I could talk myself into going to a store, I could take my own blood pressure. I have about 7 minutes of copying to do if I feel up to it and that's it. The rest of the week I get to lie around and gestate.

By the way, are the babies missing from the ticker on anyone else's screen?

Another Friday butt-kicking

2009-01-31T18:46:00.000-08:00

Maybe Friday's are just harder than Wednesdays? I woke up Friday with swollen feet and they stuck around all day and are still nice and swollen on Saturday. Since the doc said he's not concerned with the swelling, I'm at least relieved although a little uncomfortable.

I drove the kids on the field trip and read my book while they explored a Science fair. The principal was so worried about me driving, she made sure there was another adult in my vehicle-on the off chance I went into labor I guess. Turns out we made it back to school without any labor at all!

I didn't get my nap on Friday and I crashed hard around 5:30. I woke up around 9:30 and did the 'tuck in' thing with the kids. I then returned to bed to watch some TV. I was back asleep by midnight, but found I had a restless night of sleep. It never felt like I'd fallen asleep, but the clock always said it was much later. I tend to wake every hour or two to change positions or go potty. My best sleep comes between 3 & 6. I can sleep in any position at that point, and it just feels good.

Saturday we had a 10:15 basketball game. The boys finally won and Logan played very smart again. He also scored 4 points and had a few rebounds as well as a few assists. After basketball I had a hair appointment. Most of my layers had apparently grown out, which explains why I hated how it looked when I wore it down. She's now got it reshaped and the curl is better, so hopefully when I do it myself tomorrow I'll be pleased.

I then came home and took an hour nap before heading out to hear about softball recruiting and how that works and doesn't work for college. We're still a few years off, but it's always nice to be prepared and know what we're really dealing with.

After sitting for 2 hours I headed straight for the shower when I got home and gave Brian permission to just pick up pizza rather than make the pork chops I'd planned. I intend to spend the rest of the evening in bed-awake or asleep, not so sure.

The babies have been loving avocado the last few days and I've resorted to eating it with salami on wheat. This choice went over great on Friday, today it's given me heartburn! There's still plenty of movement to keep me on my toes and relaxed about how they are doing.

34 weeks belly pictures

2009-01-29T22:41:00.000-08:00

Here's the belly at 34 weeks. You may notice that the belly hangs out if I don't pull the shirt down constantly. Also the pants won't stay up on the belly and insist on sitting below the belly-which is comfy, but with the shirt problem I feel like I'm constantly flashing someone.

Circuit City is going out of business and we had a gift card that we needed to use. So we picked up a new camera on Sunday. It's not a high end fancy one, it was just around what we had on the gift card, so we feel like it was free. The new camera does however pick up the numbers on the measuring tape much better than our old camera. If you look close you can see where I marked our early January measurements and where it hits now. I'd say the babies are a growin'!

The day in review

2009-01-29T22:09:00.000-08:00

This morning we all got up with the intention of going to school. Logan had come home sick on Wednesday, but was feeling much better by the evening. He got up easily and took his shower. As soon as he got out of the shower, his belly started hurting again. We decided he should stay home another day, but that he would go with me to the OB appointment and I'd pick up his school work. He got busy on his work right away and only has 2 small assignments to finish tomorrow at school, plus he read his chapter of Johnny Tremain.

So off we go to the OB appointment. I am really enjoying Logan at this age, he has so much going on in his head and he has no issues sharing those thoughts. The down side is it seems he always has something to say and especially about things that my brain just doesn't think of. It was still nice to spend the day alone with him though. At the OB appointment he moved around so that he could see the ultrasound screen while doc was talking about what he could see. He claimed he wasn't interested, but he was clearly checking it out.

On the way home we checked the mail and there was a Christmas gift for the kids from Aunt Lee, a Toys R Us gift card. Logan was so excited and asked if we could go today. Apparently he'd really been wanting the Club Penguin figures that his cousin received for Christmas, but he didn't want to spend his money on them-a gift card is totally different though.

So I took my nap while Logan finished up his schoolwork and then we picked up Ciera and headed to Toys R Us. Logan ended up with 2 Club Penguin figures, a Nerf gun and a bottle of candy. Ciera also managed to spend almost all of her gift card. She picked up some wacky stuff at the toy store-rubber ducky's, pens and bottle lids (as close as I'll let her come to buying a bottle). They were both quite pleased with their haul and left happily.

Brian met us at the store and he and Ciera headed off to pitch and hit. Logan and I returned home and he immediately tore open the Nerf gun. He spent the next 2 hours shooting Nerf darts and asking me to 'watch this one'. Since I couldn't JUST watch Nerf darts, I got busy reading the 'back story' of others' blogs. You may have noticed that there are several 'followers' and it only seems right to follow their blogs also. But many of them have been blogging for quite a while and I've only read their current entries. So today I got caught up on A History of a VERY Special Journey. Their little girl is now 6 months old, but she was once a little embryo as well. Dad is a very good writer though, and I'm now questioning all of my rambling and how it sounds to others as they read it. I'm guilty of not proof-reading before I hit publish. The most I get to is spell checking. Over the course of the next month I hope to read all of the 'old entries' on everyone's blogs I follow.

Logan and I decided we'd have pigs in a blanket and baked beans for dinner. This is not something we'd want to eat every night, but once in a while it's not so bad. Then it was time for basketball practice again. Unfortunately 'someone' took my chair out of the van, so it was a very long hour! I came home and took a hot shower before settling in to watch the latest episode of Sober House.

Everyone is now tucked away in bed and fingers crossed, will be asleep soon. Tomorrow is a fairly easy day. Ciera does have a school field trip and I will be driving for it. I will not be participating in the field trip though. I will hang out in the van while they spend 3 hours walking around checking out science experiments. The seats actually recline quite nicely and I'm sure it will be fine.

The babies' movement has not bothered me so much today as Baby B's head just seems to be jutting out of my skin and it's a bit sensitive. I've also had a bit of pelvic/upper, inner thigh discomfort, but I know this is entirely normal considering I'm 34 weeks and there's at least 8 pounds of baby in there.